“There can’t be a you and me,” she says softly. “We need to forget about what happened last night.”
Her words are a gut punch, but I’m not going down without a fight.
“There is no scenario where I can wipe last night from my memories.” I cup her cheek, and she touches my wrist, but makes no move to break contact. “I loved every second of what we did in your bed. Watching you ride my cock and eating your pretty pink pussy after? That was the best night of my life.”
She laughs, but it comes out as a nervous warble. “I’m quite sure you’ve had better nights. You’ve won national titles. Got drafted—”
I press a finger to her lips. “Those things were amazing, but they don’t compare to you, darlin’. I know what it means to lose people and things you love, just like I know that when life brings you someone special, you fight like hell to hold on to them.”
“It’ll never work. We’re not just neighbors; we’re coworkers.” She sighs. “Not to mention the fact that we’re practically family.”
I grit my teeth. “We are not family.”
“We might as well be. Did you hear Adam?” A muscle in her jaw twitches. “You’re the son he never had.”
Guilt rears its ugly head, snatching the breath from my lungs. I cannot betray Coach any more than I can walk away from Ava.
Fuck.Fuckfuckfuck.
“Darlin’, there’s nothing brotherly about the way I feel when I look at you.” Her cheeks flush and she turns her head, releasing her grip on my arm. “We’ll figure this out.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t, no matter how strongly I feel about you.” Ava looks up at me from under her lashes, and I can see her mentally building a wall, brick by brick. “I waited my whole life to meet my father. We’re just getting to know one another. Our relationship is too new, too…” She looks around as if searching for the words. “I just can’t risk it.”
I open my mouth to protest—to promise I’ll win Coach over—but she rushes ahead.
“Even if by some miracle my father gave his blessing, my contract explicitly prohibits fraternizing with players. I could be fired, and I need this job. Breaking through to the pros took years, and even now, it’s a temporary role. A test run. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a woman in a male-dominated field?”
It’s a rhetorical question, but that doesn’t lessen the impact. The fact that she even has to worry about the optics because of her gender is bullshit. Having a vagina doesn’t make her any less capable of providing mental health support, but I get what she’s saying. The world is full of misogynistic assholes.
“I can’t afford to screw this up.” She presses her fingertips to her temples. “Best case, I get a full-time offer from the Gliders. Worst case, I get a glowing recommendation and maybe I’m lucky enough to find a spot with another pro team.”
The idea of her leaving burns like hot coals in my chest.
“I hear you, and I fucking hate that you have to worry about misogynistic creeps who would use your personal life against you, but are you really willing to give this up so easily? Because I’m not. You came back into my life for a reason, and I know deep in my gut that if I walk away, it will be the biggest mistake of my life.”
10
AVA
A warm breezeruffles my hair as I speedwalk across the parking lot to the Gliders’ practice facility. The scent of hot asphalt shoves itself up my nose with every step, an unwelcome reminder of my less than stellar commute. The highway was gridlocked, and I didn’t have time to grab coffee, which is normally my one non-negotiable in the morning.
I need the caffeine to get me going, and I’m feeling its absence now.
It doesn’t help that I barely got a wink of sleep last night. Between the nerves of starting a new job, dinner with my father, and my confrontation with Knox, I was tossing and turning all night.
My father treating me like a child and steamrolling right over my agency seems to be par for the course, so I don’t know why I let it get to me.
Because you’re afraid of rocking the boat.
It’s the same reason I didn’t stand up for myself when my old supervisor took credit for two of my most successful clinics.
My stomach clenches at the memory.
This is a fresh start.
Exactly. I can’t risk my job or my budding relationship with my father. If Adam found out Knox and I slept together, he’d be furious, and then who knows what he’d do? Cut me off? Terminate my contract? The possibilities are endless, and I don’t know him well enough to predict how he might react.
Which is why no matter how much I like Knox—no matter how drawn I am to him—we cannot keep seeing one another. Adam only asked one thing of me when I accepted this job: no dating hockey players.