He looks up to see me standing in his doorway, and his face turns to stone.
“Hey, Coach. Can we talk?”
“I’ve got nothing to say to you, St. James.” He folds his hands across his midsection. “Besides, I’m busy.”
“I’ll wait.” I lean against the concrete wall and cross my arms, trying to play it cool despite the fact that my heart is about to beat out of my chest.
“You really want to do this?” He gives me a slow once-over. “With no witnesses?”
I swallow hard. Coach was a bruiser back in his day. He knows how to throw a punch, and he’s still in great shape, but he wouldn’t really hit me—would he?
A muscle in his jaw twitches.
Fuck. He might actually do it.
Fine. If that’s what he needs to get the anger out of his system, so be it.
“You want to take a swing at me? Go ahead.” I throw my arms wide, completely defenseless. “I deserve it. I lied to you. Broke your trust.”
Coach leaps to his feet, jabbing a finger in my direction. “Damn right you did. I trusted you. Treated you like my own kid. And you turn around and pull this shit? I should bench your ass.”
Now we’re getting somewhere.
“That’s right. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me.” I stab myself in the chest with my index finger for emphasis. “I’m the one who pursued her. I’m the one who convinced her to give me a shot. I fucking love your daughter, sir, and I will not apologize to you or anyone else for my feelings. Ava is an incredible woman. She’s smart, funny, compassionate, and she deserves the world. If you can’t see that, then you don’t deserve her.”
I suck in a breath, chest heaving. I’ve never spoken to Coach like this before, and he looks as shocked as I feel. And yeah, maybe I should quit while I’m ahead, but I’m not finished.
“I tried to keep my nose out of it—to let you work this out on your own—but you’ve got to be the two most stubborn people on the planet, and I care too much about you to stand idly by and watch you burn your relationship to the ground.”
Coach snorts. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”
“No, I don’t. The way you blew Ava off Saturday night? That was a dick move.” Anger flashes in his eyes, but I’m on a roll and I’m not slowing down. “I get that you were upset, and probably shell-shocked, but she’s your daughter. All she wants is for you to accept her, and you treated her like an inconvenience, like she was just another problem to be dealt withafterhockey. Do you even know what kind of message that sent? How much you hurt her?”
Regret flashes in his eyes, but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared.
I knew this wouldn’t be easy. Adam is a tough SOB, and stubborn to boot.
He doesn’t like to admit when he’s wrong, but he’s a good man. A compassionate man. He could be a hell of a father if he’d just get out of his damn head.
“All she’s done since she got here is try to impress you and earn your love, and you didn’t even take the time to learn her birthday.” I draw a steadying breath, but I’m too fired up to hold back the last jab. The one that will hammer the point home. “It was the fourteenth, in case you were wondering.”
His face goes slack, but he recovers quickly. “She lied to me,” he says, jaw tight. “You both did.”
He’s right, but hearing it aloud, hearing the pain in his voice? That shit stings.
Coach taught me to move through the world with integrity, and I’ve disappointed him.
Hell, I’ve disappointed myself.
“We both felt guilty as hell about lying to you. It’s been tearing us up for weeks, but you didn’t give us any other choice. You made Ava believe that she had to choose, and that was unfair as fuck.”
“I was trying to protect her,” he shouts back, eyes blazing. “She deserves someone who can be there for her. Someone whodoesn’t spend half of the year on the road. I missed so much of her life, so many little moments, and when I let myself think about it, I get so damn angry.” He drops into his chair, defeated. “Angry at myself. At her mother. At the game.”
His words hit home.
Coach’s situation is different from mine, but he’s right.
There will be away games and time apart and moments I’ll wish like hell I didn’t miss, but that just means I have to make the most of the ones we do have. I’ll be present and committed. Ava will never have to wonder if the game comes first. Not with me.