Steeling my resolve, I climb out of bed and grab my pants off the floor, retrieving my lucky charm. Then I drop down on the edge of the bed, holding up the photo strip.
“I knew from the moment you walked back into my life that you were the one for me, Ava. Now, I know I’m just a superstitious hockey player, but the way I felt about this picture for all those years? It was a hell of a lot stronger than the way a guy feels about a pair of lucky socks. Maybe all that time I was just holding out, waiting for fate to work its magic and bring you back into my life.”
Ava’s brow furrows. “That’s crazy.”
“Is it? You told me you believed in fate. Were you lying?”
“No, but—”
“No buts. The universe brought us back together for a reason. I believe that and I’ll be damned if I’m going to fuck it up because I’m too scared to fight for what I want.”
Her shoulders sag and she pulls her knees up to her chest. “We shouldn’t have to fight to be together.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But what I do know is that life is too short to ride the bench. After I lost my parents, I promised myself I’d never hold back because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.” I reach out and cup her cheek. “I fucking love you, Ava. I think some part of me has always loved you, even when I thought I’d never see you again.”
Her lip quivers. “You love me?”
“Yes, I love you. So fucking much. And I know I said I’d figure this out, but I haven’t because the only way out is through. We have to tell your father. We have to tell him and accept the consequences because as much as I fear his disappointment, and as much as I fear losing him, I fear losing you more. I’ve been through that before and I won’t do it again.” I set the photo strip aside and take both of her hands. “Pretending what we have is just sex is a total slap in the face to you, to me, and to what we could be together.”
AVA
My heart swellsat Knox’s admission.He loves me.
It’s more than I dared hope for, and now that he’s laid it all on the line, I can’t leave him hanging. Sure, I could fall back on my old rationales—my father, my job—and they’re just as valid today as they were six weeks ago, but things have changed.
I’ve changed.
I can’t continue to live by other people’s rules, squished into the narrow confines of who and what I should be, how I should behave, and how much space I’m allowed to take up.
The world isn’t fair. It never has been and it never will be, and following arbitrary rules about what it means to be nice aren’t getting me anywhere. I’ve done everything society told me to do, everything my family told me to do, and what’s it gotten me?
Stuck.
Stuck in a job I love, working for a man I despise.
Stuck in an awkward dance with my father, unable to tell him how I really feel.
Stuck in a no-strings situationship, forced to choose between my career and the man I love.
I stiffen.
“Ava?” Knox squeezes my hands, worry lining his eyes. “You still with me, darlin’?”
The things I want most are just out of my grasp, but have I ever dared to reach for them?
I grip Knox’s hands, and when our eyes meet, it’s like coming home.
All this time he’s been trying so hard to show me who he is and how he feels, and I’ve cut him off at every turn, certain that if I just played by the rules, everything would work out.
God was I foolish.
I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to realize it.
There are no rules when it comes to love. The heart wants what the heart wants, and mine wants Knox. Now and always.
“Knox.” I swallow, pushing past the fear and anxiety. “I love you. I’ve been trying to fight it, trying to deny it, but the truth is, I’m head over heels, butt crazy in love with you.”
He beams at me—actually freaking beams—his grin wider than I’ve ever seen it before, his dimples on full display. “Butt crazy in love, huh?”