28
GISELLE
I climbed the steps to Thayer and Kason’s house. Thayer and Shay both had class, so I knew Kason and I would be alone. I’d given him enough time to be pissed at us. I pushed open the front door and stepped inside, looking around the empty first floor. I climbed the stairs to the second-floor, and his door was closed. I lifted my hand and knocked lightly.
“Fuck off.”
“Kason, it’s me.”
He didn’t respond, but I didn’t care. Enough was enough. I opened the door and stepped inside his room. He was sprawled on his bed with his arms crossed over his face. “I said, ‘fuck off.’”
“I deserve that,” I said.
“You both do,” he muttered, lowering his arms and sitting up. He looked past me, likely expecting Thayer to be there too.
“We’re sorry we didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Stop saying we.”
I needed a different approach if I was going to get through to him. “You never liked Gino,” I reminded him.
“Didn’t mean I wanted you with my best friend.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“You just got out of a three-year relationship. Maybe you just don’t want to be alone. You can do that with anyone.”
“Wow. You think that little of me? You really think this is a rebound?”
“Why Thayer?” he asked.
I considered all the things that made me sure Thayer was the guy I was supposed to be with. His unwavering loyalty. How much he cared about me. How he always seemed to find me in a crowded room. The way he moved so smoothly on a snowboard. What his body felt like, tangled up with mine. How he always put me on a pedestal, even when I didn’t deserve it. I wanted to be the person he saw when he looked at me. “Because with Thayer, I feel like me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You had to notice that I lost myself with Gino.”
“I didn’t notice that at all,” he said.
I tipped my head to the side. “You were a little preoccupied with all things Kason.” I walked over and sat down beside him. I expected him to move away from me, but he didn’t. “You had to see that things with me weren’t fun anymore. I wasn’t fun anymore.”
“You were never fun,” he grumbled.
I rolled my eyes.
“He’s been with a lot of girls.”
“Yeah, well, I’m guessing you have too. But Shay still loves you.”
“You love him?” he asked, as if the thought hadn’t crossed his mind until now.
“There’s a lot to love.”
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as if pained by my words.
“And just so you know, I did call you after I saw Carlo. You didn’t answer your phone.”
He dropped his hand and met my eyes. “You were going to tell me?”