I considered it. “I could do that.”
“Do you want me to make the trip with you?”
I hadn’t considered that. I’d be on my own. I hadn’t been alone since it happened. “No,” I said. “I’ve got to do this alone.”
“You sure?”
“I can do it,” I assured her, though I wasn’t positive I actually could until I tried.
“So, what about your brother?” she asked.
“What about him?”
“He’s going to freak out if he finds out about you and Thayer.”
“Exactly why he can’t find out about us yet.”
“I don’t like secrets.”
“Well, you kept a good one from Dad last night,” I reminded her.
“How do you know I didn’t tell your father?”
“Because he didn’t come pounding on my door,” I said with a smirk.
“Not true. You’re both adults. And, it’s about damn time,” she said.
Thayer
I wiped the snow off the front of my mother’s gravestone, making sure her name and birthdate were visible. I pulled the flowers I’d brought for Christmas out of the urns and tossed them off to the side now that they’d withered. In the spring, she had a beautiful spot beside a big tree that bloomed with pretty pink flowers she would’ve loved. Now, the tree’s limbs were dead.
I tucked my hands in the pockets of my jacket and closed my eyes. It had been three hundred and sixty-five days since I’d seen her. Three hundred and sixty-five days since I felt whole.
I preferred to envision the vibrant version of her when I recalled my fondest memories. The mom who showed up at all of my events. The mom who was happier for me than anyone else in this world. The mom whose hugs relaxed me and whose words always just hit the mark.
“Hey,” I said aloud, glancing around to be sure no one else was around to hear our private conversation. “It’s been a while. I’m sorry about that. A lot’s happened since I was here in December. I got picked up by a sponsor. They’re sponsoring Kason, too, which means we both get all this rad merch, and they send us to all these awesome places. We’re heading to Big Bear tomorrow, Steamboat in a few weeks, and then Switzerland next month. I’m back out there now. And, I’m gonna compete.”
I pulled my hands from my pockets and pressed my palms into my eyes. I would not cry. I would not fucking cry. But this was not how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be telling her all of this face-to-face, not to some damn stone.
I slipped my hands back into my pockets. “I’ve got some other news. Giselle finally realized I existed. I know you’re probably thinking that it’s about damn time. And, while I agree with you, I think she needed to meet Gino. It sucked seeing her with him, but he needed to help her start her business. I’d be lying if I said I could’ve done that for her. I really had nothing to offer her back then. I was a snowboarder who didn’t really have direction other than my next big trick. Now, I was close to finishing college—if I ever get my ass to class.”
A bird squawked overhead, drawing away my attention for a minute.
“Well, I should probably head out,” I said, finally looking back at her stone. “I’ve gotta get to school. I think I’ve got a law test.” I pressed my fingertips to my lips, then touched the top of her stone. “Love you, Mom.”
21
GISELLE
My knees bounced with nerves and anticipation as I sat in the back of the Uber. I knew my mother wanted to come with me, but I needed to prove to myself I could stand on my own two feet without crumbling.
Gino had no idea I’d flown to Florida. If I told him, he would’ve asked a million questions. And, I only wanted to answer them once I was in front of him. I hadn’t told Thayer, either. He was off snowboarding in Big Bear, and truthfully, I wanted to tell him in person. I wanted to see his expression when I told him the only person I wanted to be with was him.
The car pulled to a stop in front of Gino’s building, and I stepped out. “Thanks,” I said to the driver before closing the door.
I glanced up at the high-rise before me, the hot Florida sun reflecting off the mirrored windows. I pulled in a deep breath and walked inside the building, my boot heels clicking on the shiny lobby floor. I’d never been to Gino’s office before, but I checked the directory and found his suite on the twentieth floor. I headed for the bank of elevators and waited, brushing down any wrinkles from my pink silk top. Once the doors split apart, I stepped inside, my hands shaking as I gripped the strap on my cross bag.
The elevator accelerated faster than any elevator I’d been in before and stopped on the twentieth floor within seconds. When the doors opened, I inhaled deeply again and stepped out. I’d made it this far. I could do it.