“I’m not good.”
“Who cares. You got out there,” he said.
“Yeah. And I felt good doing it,” I explained, leaving out the real reason I felt good doing it. “My therapist actually encouraged me to buy the board.”
“How’s that going?” he asked.
“Well, I guess it’s better than bottling everything up.”
“You can talk to me,” he offered.
Could I? I opened my mouth to respond, but I could hear someone in the background, and Gino responded to them, “I’ll be right there.” Then, to me. “Babe, I’ve gotta go. Please call if you need anything.”
And there it was. Everyone and everything always seemed to be more important than me. It had always been that way. But I’d made excuses in my head for why it was okay. But it wasn’t. If I really needed him, he wasn’t there. “I will,” I lied.
And then he hung up.
I was such a coward. He’d said hearing from me made him feel better. But talking to him didn’t make me feel better. It never really had. But not talking to Thayer was killing me.
There was a knock on my door.
“Come in,” I called.
The door opened, and my mother poked her head inside. “Are you driving with us to the event, or are you going with your brother?”
“No, I’m going with you and Dad.”
She glanced to her watch before looking at me. “I think you should probably get ready. We plan to leave in less than an hour.”
I nodded, both eager and terrified of seeing Thayer. But this night was about him. I needed to support him. Not cause him more grief.
18
THAYER
I dug my hands into my khaki cargo pants. The navy hoodie and matching Kincaid beanie I wore were making me warm as I waited with Kason in the back room of the banquet hall. We were waiting to be announced as Kincaid’s newest snowboarders. I could hear all the voices on the other side of the wall, prepared for the presentation. Kason was the real draw, but I was totally fine being the trusty sidekick when Kincaid offered me the deal. Kason had always been good at being the center of attention. I was much better hanging in the shadows.
“We don’t know how we managed it, but we got him!” a man announced, and a round of applause ensued. There had to be a good hundred people in the banquet hall. “And he brought a friend!” The crowd again applauded, some hooted and hollered. I figured it was Jesse and the other snowboarders there for the open bar and free food. “May I introduce the newest faces of Kincaid Sports. Kason McCloud and Thayer Caruthers.”
“Showtime,” Kason said, climbing the stairs and heading through the doorway that led to the stage.
I followed him out there, and the room was packed. Some wore suits and dresses; some wore Kincaid snowboarding gear and jeans.
Kason stepped up to the microphone. “I’d like to thank Kincaid for this huge honor.” He glanced at the big banner hanging behind the stage. It was him upside down, pulling off the move that won him the gold medal. “This is home for me. Where I should have always been.”
The room erupted in cheers and applause.
He glanced to me. “And to be able to rep the best snowboarding company on the planet with my best friend, my boy, my brother. Things just don’t get any sweeter.”
The room applauded as I lifted a hand in the air, acknowledging what he’d said as well as the opportunity Kincaid had given me. My eyes latched onto Giselle in a red halter dress by the bar, smiling and clapping. I smiled back. Just because we left things screwy in Park City, it didn’t mean I didn’t miss her or that she hadn’t been on my mind.
She was the one who had to figure her shit out.
Kason and I stepped off the stage, shaking hands with all the Kincaid bigwigs before finding our boys by the bar. I glanced to the spot where Giselle had been, but she wasn’t there any longer.
One of the guys bought a round of shots, and people toasted to our new partnership. Then, someone else did. Before I knew it, I was feeling good as I made the rounds around the room, catching up with snowboarders I hadn’t seen in years who were also sponsored by Kincaid.
“Hey, Thayer.”