“You’re up!” Shay said from the island where she sat with her laptop open.
“You’re excited,” I observed.
She chuckled. “Thayer said you wanted to snowboard today.”
I scoffed as I grabbed an apple from a basket on the island. “He did?”
She nodded.
“I must’ve been drunk,” I said, biting into the apple. “Are you snowboarding?” I asked, moving into the living room and sitting on the arm of the sofa.
“I figured if you were, I could try it again—on the bunny hill.”
I laughed, considering if I was up to the challenge. “Actually, it could be fun.”
“It will be fun,” she said.
I wondered if Kason had told her about my nightmares because she was being extra happy. “Did Kason tell you I’ve been to see a therapist?”
She shook her head. “But for what it’s worth, I think it’s a good thing. You’ve been through a lot.”
I didn’t respond, unsure what to say—or better yet, why I brought it up in the first place.
“Did it help?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. I’ve only been once.”
“Do you plan to go back?”
“I think so.”
She closed her laptop and met my eyes. “It’s healthy to talk about things. I’d know. I was a pro at avoiding talking about my own issues.”
“It’s definitely easier not talking about it.”
“Yeah, but it’s not healthy,” she admitted.
She was right. What happened to me undoubtedly changed me and my naïve sense of security. I couldn’t possibly know how to deal with the aftermath unless I talked about it. I just struggled to do so.
“I know it’s no consolation,” she began, “but if you ever need someone to talk to about anything, I really am a good listener.”
A sad smile curved my lips. “I know you are. Thank you.”
She jumped up. “Now, let’s go get bundled up. It’s freezing out there.”
I laughed, and just like that, the seriousness in the room faded away.
We arrived at the mountain an hour later and were on the bunny hill in no time, surrounded by lots of young kids zipping by us on snowboards and skis with no poles. Shay had difficulty staying upright, and I weaved back and forth, trying to stay with her.
“Who let you two on this slope?” Kason called.
My brother stood with one foot locked in his board and the other on the snow. Thayer was behind him doing the same. I quickly diverted my gaze. After last night, there was no way I’d be able to make eye contact for fear of what I might find behind his eyes. I spoke directly to Kason. “Just getting some fresh mountain air.”
“Be honest,” Shay said from her spot on the ground. “You’re pulling me back up every time I fall.”
Kason approached Shay and lifted her up effortlessly. He moved her off to the side and practiced keeping her upright while he held both of her hands.
“Is she that bad?” Thayer asked me.