“Did it help?”
“I’m not sure anything’s going to help me to forget.”
The thought of her never being able to move on seemed impossible to me. Especially since she was always so strong and confident. How could one experience crush her spirit indefinitely? “I don’t think the therapist’s job is to help you forget. I think they’re supposed to show you that you’re strong enough to persevere despite what happened to you.”
She didn’t respond right away, so I wondered if she was calling bullshit on my thought. “Can I tell you something?” she eventually asked.
“Of course.”
“When I was on the floor with the belt around my wrists…” her voice drifted off.
“Jesus,” I whispered, hating that he’d fucking bound her. I coasted my thumbs over her wrists, needing to soothe whatever pain the memory elicited.
“I was sure I wasn’t getting out of there alive.”
I closed my eyes, hating that those terrible thoughts had crossed her mind.
“I was praying that someone would see me on the floor and come in and save me…”
“Of course you did,” I said, understanding it’s what anyone would have been praying for.
“I thought about the police…and Kason…and you,” she admitted.
My stomach dipped. “Me?”
I felt her nod next to me.
So many questions sat at the ready. Why had she wanted me there? Why not her boyfriend? “I wish I would’ve been there.”
“You make me feel safe, Thayer,” Giselle said, her voice growing quieter. “You always have.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said, blindsided by her admission.
“It’s not obvious?”
“Not even a little,” I said.
“Will you stay in here tonight?” she asked, her voice even fainter.
“Whatever you need, G.”
She sighed and, before long, her breathing slowed. I could almost feel a calmness wash over her before she fell asleep.
I lay awake for a long time, savoring the feel of her in my arms and in the sentiments she’d uttered. So many times over the years, I’d envisioned holding her in my arms. In my bed. But never in a million years had I envisioned it happening after she’d been bound and held at gunpoint. It had clearly messed with her. I mean, even I wasn’t foolish enough to think she actually prayed that I’d come to her rescue that night. Nor did I believe that any other time she would’ve allowed me to be this close to her. That night fucked her up. This was just a glowing reminder of that.
As sleep began to pull me under, I sent up my own little prayer. Please don’t let Kason show up to check on her. Please don’t let him find me in her bed.
Giselle
Even with my eyes closed, I could feel the sting of sunlight casting through the skylights in the room. I cracked my eyes, instantly blinded by the brightness. It took a minute to adjust, and then I glanced to my right. Thayer lay sound asleep with his arms locked around his pillow like it was his favorite stuffed animal. I didn’t know when he finally moved away from me in the middle of the night, but lying in his arms had made me feel so safe.
Before Kason walked in and suspected anything, I climbed out from under the covers, careful not to wake Thayer as I crept slowly from the bed. I threw on a hoodie, padded to the closed door, and cracked it open, listening to see if anyone was up yet. It was quiet, so I tiptoed down the hallway and moved downstairs to the kitchen. The security guard was in the living room. He nodded toward me in acknowledgement, but went back to watching the screens he’d set up with views of the entire exterior of the home.
Within minutes, I had a dozen pancakes made and more cooking on the griddle, the coffee brewed, and enough space between Thayer and me to try to forget I let him comfort me. Hold me. See me so vulnerable.
When he’d asked me if I wanted him to leave, I didn’t know what to say. I should’ve said yes, but the way I felt in his arms wouldn’t allow me to let him leave.
Footsteps nearby had my senses prickling. I knew it was him before he spoke.