“Are you ready?” he asks. “Fuck,” he hisses. “That’s a stupid fucking question. I’m not ready, I can tell you that much for fucking certain.”
Sinking my teeth into the inside of my cheek, I bite down on a chunk of skin there until I taste the metallic tang of blood. Closing the distance between us, I reach out for my brother. He slips his hands into mine, and I squeeze them gently.
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” I whisper.
Images of the past flash before my eyes. Still shots of when we were kids. When he was first a prospect, he was so young,straddling his bike. Then images of my bakery and the guys coming and going for bread and sweets.
And finally, the girls, all of them, my best friends. I’m going to miss them all, and as the seconds tick by, my heart begins to race faster and faster at the thought of never seeing them again.
I thought I could do this. I thought I would be okay with this, and now I’m wondering why I thought any of that at all. I’m a damn fool, just like everyone said I was. Well, maybe they didn’t say it with their words so much, but their eyes did it for them.
They said everything under the sun with their eyes, and I just ignored it all, thinking I knew more than anyone else.
I don’t know shit.
Opening my mouth, I start to tell my brother that I’m sorry and I’ve changed my mind. The blood is roaring, rushing through my ears as I attempt to say the words. But nothing comes out, and then there is another knock on the door.
I flick my gaze to the door, and Axton whips his head around to look over his shoulder at the same door. I watch as it opens, and in walks the wedding planner. She’s wearing a smile, her gaze searching mine, questioning, the way it has been any time she’s been in this room today.
She doesn’t understand what’s happening, and honestly, I’m not sure that I do, either. She seems really confused, and I know that if I were on the outside like her, looking in, I would be thinking about calling my brother to see if he could help this poor bride out—me.
I’m the poor bride.
Except the police are already here, and I’m an adult. I agreed to this, and I need to hold up my end of the bargain.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, but Mr. Lorenzo is insistent we start on time.”
Lorenzo. He’s probably sitting up in the front row with the biggest smile on his face. He’s getting everything he wants out of this deal.
Every single thing.
We should be starting on time. She’s not wrong. Because if we don’t start now, I’m afraid I might run, and then all hell is going to break loose. I don’t want that. I don’t want any part of that, and I don’t want it for my brother, either.
I have to remind myself that this is for him. For my family. This is what I agreed to. And I’m going to honor my commitment. I inhale a deep breath and let the air fill my lungs.
Squaring my shoulders, I let the air out after it begins to burn my lungs. Linking my arm in my brother’s, I hold my ugly-as-fuck roses in front of myself and grin, fakely, like an idiot. Axton clears his throat as he begins to take a step forward. I follow beside him.
The wedding planner steps out of the way, holding the door open for us to pass. One step at a time, we walk together until we’re standing in front of the closed sanctuary doors. “You’re shaking,” Axton grinds out. “We can run.”
I almost laugh.
A few minutes ago, I probably would have saidlet’s go, but I know I can’t. He does, too. Even if he doesn’t want to believe it, he knows it’s the way it needs to be. It’s what’s best for him and Millie. For the club, too. There’s no turning back now. I’m marrying Paul today.
I hear the music before the doors open. I don’t know who actually pulls them open. I can’t see through the netting of my veil. It doesn’t matter anyway. All I can see is Paul at the end of the aisle.
“No running,” I whisper. “This is it.”
As Axton walks beside me, he helps to hold me up so I don’t completely melt into the floor and simply pass out. I don’t knowwhat the hell is waiting for me at the end of the aisle other than me being passed off to Paul, but I’m scared.
Then the aisle is done, we’re at the end, and I’m face-to-face with the man who looks polished and perfect. The man who is going to be my husband. The exact opposite of everything I ever wanted.
My smile can’t be faked. It’s disappeared, and all I can do is stare into this man’s eyes. Thankfully, he’s not smiling either. This is a serious moment, and I’m grateful for it, because there is nothing left inside me to muster up a fake smile right now.
I don’t hear anything except muffled voices, and then Axton places my hand in Paul’s. I didn’t even realize he’d extended his arm. When I slip my hand into his, he curls his fingers around mine, then clears his throat as I take a step forward.
My breathing starts coming out in hard, quick pants. Everything is a blur… my movements, my words, his words. Nothing makes sense, but I do what I’m told to do, repeat what I’m told to repeat.
VIKING