He smirks, his blue eyes dancing, and I wish I could tackle him right now. He reaches for the sheet, gently tugging it down and exposing my breasts. My breath hitches when he leans forward and touches his lips to my nipple, kissing me there.
Arching my back, I wonder if I can actually tackle him right now. I’m sore but also achy—in an I-want-more way. And I do. Want more, that is. Pressing my lips together, I roll them a few times before I reach out and wrap my fingers around the back of his head.
“Gunnar,” I exhale.
He chuckles, his laughter causing my breasts to shake slightly as he releases my nipple, then sits up a little, his eyes searching mine. God, those blue eyes. They could be my complete and total undoing.
But they won’t be, at least not today.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LAINEY
Yesterday wasa day I don’t think I’ll ever forget, not in my lifetime. It was a fantasy come to life. Something I never truly allowed myself to imagine, and I loved it. Every second of it… at least for the day.
I knew it wouldn’t last, and I soaked it all up and in just for that reason alone. But I’m afraid it allowed me to have that hope again, and I can’t have that. I swore I wouldn’t. I played house with Gunnar.
And it was perfect.
I baked, we made dinner, we had so much sex that my body is screaming in aching pain, but only in the best ways. I cannot believe it was real. That it happened. And I wish I could go back and do it all over again.
But I can’t, even though it would be amazing. It’s now time for me to face my reality and my future, neither of which involves hanging out with or having sex with Gunnar. I love it all, but that is not my future, and it does nothing but hurt me, even to just imagine it could be real.
The time has come for me to begin shutting down my life as Lainey-Rose Colter. And that includes my bakery. Standing in the middle of my shop, I slowly spin around and take in the empty space.
Piggy helped me out with the down payment for this place, along with some start-up costs, but I built it into a successful business. It’s been my world, my life ever since. I’ve spent more time here than in my own place.
I was never going to make millions of dollars, but it was enough for me. It was more than I ever imagined it could be, an aspiration that came true. I’ve loved every second I spent here, especially the last few years.
This shop brought me true friendships I didn’t realize I’d been lacking in my life. Dakota walking into the bakery changed my life. She brought me back to the Vicious Reapers and even closer to my brother. The women I’ve met over the last several years have changed my world in the best ways.
Now that everything is happening, I’m not sure if I’m really ready to give them up. I thought I was. I thought I was so ready to move onward and upward, but now… I’m not so sure. And it’s not just the girls; it’s Gunnar, too.
I want to keep him for myself.
I knew that’s what I would want if I had the opportunity to have him in any capacity, and now look at me. I yearn for permanence, even though I know what we have is and will only ever be temporary.
But then again, I feel like I understand him a bit better now. At least I know that he didn’t reject me because he didn’t want me. It was his own personal hang-ups.
And here I am, making excuses for him because I’m madly in love with someone I can’t have. Iamin love with Gunnar; I am intensely and deeply in love with him. Being with him only solidified that feeling for me.
As I look around the bakery, I can’t help but imagine what it might be like if we were to be together—me and Gunnar. It would be perfect. Pastries, breads, coffees, and my family. Found and blood. I couldn’t think of anything better.
I wouldn’t be trying to decide what to do with my equipment. I wouldn’t be thinking about what life would be like without my daily baking. Without opening my store and seeing my customers… without seeing my best friends nearly every single day.
And I sure as shit would not be thinking about what I’m going to do as a wife to a stranger—to a mafia-type guy who will probably kill me eventually. I mean, my brother is trying to keep that from happening with the contract, but the reality is that I will be Paul’s.
A knock on the door causes me to jump. Whipping my head around, I look at the front door in surprise. But then my lips twitch into a smirk at the sight of the people on the other side of the door.
They shouldn’t be here, yet they are. I should be doing this on my own, a chapter to close, but I can’t deny that I’m glad they’re here with me, to hold my hand and maybe even wipe my tears.
Walking over to the door, I unlock it and gently tug it open to let them in. It’s all of the girls—Millie, Cidney, Zadie, Briana, Posey, and Dakota. I’m surprised they’re here, but also not. These women always know when to show up. Either one, several, or, like today, all of them.
They always know when they’re needed.
“Everything is going to be okay,” Cidney whispers as she approaches, wrapping her arms around me. I close my eyes the moment she’s close.
“So we’re definitely going with keeping that contract?” Posey asks.