She’s beautiful.
Too fucking pretty to be sold off to the mob.
“Lainey?” I call out.
She looks over her shoulder at me, her gaze searching mine before she shifts her attention back to the glass. I don’t know if she has something else she wants to say to me, but I decide that I need to be the one who breaks the silence.
I need to tell her something.
“That night, all those years ago. I didn’t mean I didn’t want you. I did. I do,” I begin.
I can’t take my eyes off her, the way every muscle in her body tightens. I want to kiss her. Every fucking inch of her. But my feet stay planted where I am, unable to move. Unwilling to move, because I know if I do, I’m going to lose control.
And the last thing I can do right now is lose control.
“I’ve always felt drawn to you, Lainey. But I respect your brother too much to go there. You deserve someone a hell of a lot better than me. I could never make you happy.”
Slowly, she spins around, her gaze flicking to meet mine. She doesn’t say anything, though. She just watches me, and I wonder what it would be like to have just a taste. Could I stop at that? Would I want to keep going? Stupid question. I know I would. I wouldn’t be able to stop.
“I don’t need someone else to tell me what I need or what’s good for me, like I’m a child. Did you know that my brother was twelve when I was born? He’s been like a father to me my entire life, and it’s wonderful to have someone look after you like that, but I’m not a child. I’m an adult, and I want to be seen as one.”
I take another step toward her, but stop short of being close enough to touch her. “I’m not telling you that I’m not good for you because I think you’re a child,” I whisper. “I’m telling you because I would hurt you. I would ruin you.”
And the last thing I ever want to do is hurt Lainey-Rose. I would die before I made her cry.
CHAPTER SIX
VIKING
My words don’t meanshit to her. At least that’s what I decide as I stare at the ceiling. I’m tired, but I’m not sleeping. My brain is working about a million miles a minute, in complete overtime.
Sleep isn’t going to come easily, if at all.
I hear a noise coming from her bedroom and turn my head, staring toward the mouth of the hallway. It’s her rolling over in her bed. I can hear her sheets rustling, and I wish I were tangled in them with her.
But I’m not, and I shouldn’t ever think about it, because it’s not going to happen. Pinching my eyes closed, I inhale through my nose, hold my breath, then exhale out of my mouth. Cleansing, calming breaths. That’s what I attempt. I’m not sure if it works or not, because my cock still aches to have her… to be inside her.
I’ve never once yearned for something I’ve never had as much as I do for her. Lainey is the one who never was, and I wanther. I want to know her, every inch of her, but I never will. The fucker of it all is that I know she wants me, too.
I hear her door open, then close, and I crack one eye open, then the other, watching her as she moves through the hallway entrance and into the living room. She doesn’t speak, doesn’t move. She stands in front of me for a moment in silence before she clears her throat and walks into the kitchen.
As she moves around, I wonder if she’s actually awake or if she’s sleepwalking. The refrigerator opens and closes, then she makes her way back to the hallway, but before she vanishes back to her room, I call out her name once.
She doesn’t seem to hear me, doesn’t even twitch at the sound of my voice, and that’s when I know she’s sleepwalking. Which would be cute as fuck if it weren’t concerning, especially with everything going on.
I’m going to need to stay on top of my game with her. After I hear her go back to bed, I lie on the couch, not even trying to sleep. I don’t. In fact, I just stare at the ceiling and wonder what the fuck is going to happen next. I’m under no illusion that Lainey is done with whatever plan she’s got hatching.
If she gives herself to Paul and the Front Mob Family, it will be a stupid fucking move. She will never be able to seek protection from anyone at the club again. That family will be her family. There will be no coming back. There will only be one way out, and it will be through death.
They’ll never let her go, and they will, without a doubt, remind us of that when they want something out of the club. Sure, right now, we’re friendly and working with them. We’re doing shit that we said we wanted to get out of, but times are hard, and we need money.
We have mouths to feed, or at least most of the others do. I only have to feed my own mouth, and I aim to keep it that way.It makes things easier when I only have to worry about my own neck.
As the sun begins to rise, I can’t help but wonder what it might be like if I did have someone else to worry about. Being in this house with Lainey is probably the closest I’ll ever get to an answer.
As of right now, I find it… sweet.
But I’m not a fucking idiot. I know that if it were real-life, day-to-day shit, I would see it a different way. As much as I want to be the one for Lainey, I’m afraid that I’m not. Just because we want to fuck one another doesn’t mean we would be good together, and I’m not going to ruin my relationship with Piggy. But more importantly, I’m not going to ruin Lainey.