‘Really?’ I say. ‘Wow. I didn’t realise I had such power.’
‘You kind of do,’ says Roo. ‘You were right, I am ready to move on from Justin. And you were right that one clown date shouldn’t turn me off forever. So I went back to the app. Then I matched with Daragh and thoughtFuck it, if Annie’s giving in to her pheromones with Art Sullivan, I can do this.’
I laugh. ‘Jesus, I never thought that would be my legacy. But you’re welcome.’
‘So I sent him a message saying hi, and he replied and said …’She finds the message on her phone. ‘“Hi, Fred. Is it weird if I say you look more like a dark-haired Veronica Lake?”’
‘He got the Fred Astaire reference!’
‘He did,’ says Roo. ‘So we got chatting about old films and he’s not, like, a weird obsessive or anything but we’re into the same stuff.’
‘So far so very good.’ Justin couldn’t understand why Roo liked ‘black-and-white shite’.
‘That’s what I thought,’ says Roo. ‘Then we messaged a bit more today and …’ She shrugs, but she’s smiling. ‘He seems really nice. And funny. He’s a framer.’
‘A what?’
‘He works in a gallery,’ says Roo. ‘He frames pictures. I googled the gallery, it’s legit.’
‘Very sensible research,’ I say. ‘So who suggested meeting up?’
‘He did,’ says Roo. ‘He told me about this film club he goes to that shows classic movies. They’re showing one with Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper on Friday and he asked if I’d like to gotoo. So I said yes. I mean, the film looks cool and, you know, it’s not adatedate …’
‘Roo,’ I say, beaming at her, ‘that isdefinitelya date.’
At eleven o’clock Roo and I, each pulling a wheelie suitcase, arrive at the private upstairs room of Rose Pearl, one of the most chic venues in town.
‘Are you sure I look okay?’ I say.
I’ve borrowed a black broderie anglaise dress from Roo for the occasion. It’s been a long time since I wore anything this colour but it’s weirdly nice matching Roo again.
‘You look great,’ says Roo. ‘Now come on, let’s unpack.’
The room is lovely, large and airy and decorated in soft turquoise and rose gold, and we’re welcomed by an extremely friendly Francesca, who shows us where to set up all Roo’s stuff and leaves us to it.
‘How are you feeling today?’ says Roo, adjusting the angle of the owl. ‘About the whole Director Dickhead situation, I mean.’ She looks at me. ‘Unless you no longer think he’s a dickhead?’
I think of what Art said about Roo’s job yesterday. ‘Oh, I still think that,’ I say. ‘But now I know we’re not going to fight whatever this weird thing between us is, I feel kind of …’
HowdoI feel? I think about it for a moment and say, ‘I feel relieved.’
‘Good,’ says Roo.
‘I mean,’ I say, ‘we’re both very stressed. It’s just relieving some tension. It’ll help us work better.’
‘Are you basically comparing being with him to a stress-relieving wank?’ says Roo.
‘I suppose?’ I say, but as soon as I say that I know it’s a lie. Whatever’s happening between me and Art is personal, in its own strange way. Just not emotional. Which is a relief in itself.
It takes us a while to get everything set up to both Roo’s and the brand’s satisfaction, but I have to admit it all looks amazing when we’re finished. Roo’s props are arranged on a table in a corner of the room, where she’ll do individual readings when everyone’s finished eating. Roo’s just tweaked the candelabra to exactly the right angle when the attendees start arriving. I’ve never been to an event like this and I’m not sure what to expect, but everyone is lovely and it’s great to see Roo in her element. The only other time I’ve seen her do a public event was in the VIP area at a music festival a few years ago, and while she totally held her own, that was a very different crowd.
The event is being hosted by a popular comedian, and when she introduces Roo to the audience I expect her to make a joke about seeing into the future (Art isn’t the only person who thinks that’s what Roo does) but she’s clearly already a Roo-fan.
‘I’m going to be first in the Roo-queue, gals,’ she says. ‘I need all the help I can get!’
‘The cards and I will do our best!’ says Roo. ‘It’s all about looking at whatever’s bothering you in a new way.’ She turns to the audience with a reassuring smile. ‘I know tarot can look a bit scary if you’re not used to it, but there’s nothing spooky going on here.’ She’s so charming and confident in front of the crowd. I think of the shaggy little girl I met in the school cloakroom over twenty years ago and feel a rush of pride.
The next couple of hours is a whirl of delicious food, mocktails and samples of really nice moisturiser. I take a photo of my fancytable and send it to the Frog Boyfriend group chat (see, there’s more to my life thanNorthside!). My anxieties about having no one to talk to are alleviated by a lovely skincare influencer whose whole family turn out to beNorthsidefanatics. But eventually all the mocktails make their presence felt and I slip out and find the extremely pretty bathroom. I’m washing my hands when two of the event guests come in.