“No, but I feel like I do. At least, let me… explain?”
A moment passed before he dipped his chin.
River exhaled. “It’s not that I don’t love staying with you and Brynleigh. It’s just that things with Nik and me are new, and we’re still exploring our relationship, you know?”
He scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “I get it.”
“I knew you would.” She placed her hand on his knee. “That’s not the only reason, though. There are things I need to do and plans I need to make. I have to call the hospital and find out when I need to be back. And I think… I think I need to see Mom and talk to her before I leave.”
She needed to put things to bed between them, once and for all. Too long, River had dealt with her mother’s hatred. Too long, she’d assumed that it was the weight she was meant to bear because of her curse.
Now, River was starting to realize that she’d been wrong. She deserved to be treated better by her own mother. To be loved.
And if Tertia couldn’t give that to River, then River would have to make some difficult decisions in the near future.
“You could do that from the farmhouse,” Ryker offered.
“I know.”
He studied her. “But you don’t want to.”
“No.”
Ryker might’ve been a tree and a grounding force in River’s life, but it wasn’t fair for her to constantly depend on him. Shehad to do this on her own. Maybe, if River hadn’t been relying so heavily on Ryker, the news of where Brynleigh had come from wouldn’t have been so devastating. Maybe she would’ve handled it better.
“You don’t have to talk to Mom.” Ryker’s low voice pulled River from her thoughts.
“I know, but I want to.” She didn’t want to leave things the way they were. Open, with unanswered questions.
They were going to have a conversation, whether Tertia liked it or not, and River would get confirmation about her mother’s hatred once and for all.
What happened next would be up to Tertia.
“I don’t want to give her any more power over me,” River added.
She had resided beneath the dark umbrella of her mother’s hatred for long enough, and she wanted to be free of it. If freedom meant wading through the darkness a bit longer, then that’s what she would do. Besides, the thought of confronting her mother didn’t seem as awful with Nikhail by her side.
“I understand.” Ryker squeezed her fingers. “You know that you’re always welcome with Brynleigh and me, right? No matter the time or place, no matter what else is happening, our door is always open for you.”
River’s lips swept up. “I know, and there aren’t enough words in the world to express how much I appreciate that. You mean more to me than you know.”
They hugged again, only breaking apart when Ryker’s phone started vibrating. He pulled it out, seeing Brynleigh’s name flashing across the screen.
“I have to take this.” He rose from the couch. “Brynleigh’s at home, working on plans for the Foundation’s upcoming fundraising ball. You’ll come, River?”
“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away.”
She’d move heaven and earth to be present for her brother and sister-in-law, especially now that she knew how Brynleigh had been Made.
It still hurt, thinking about the Incident, and it probably would for the rest of River’s very long life. But right now, it stungless. River made note to bring this up with Eliza Fern during their next session.
Ryker pressed the phone to his ear as he rose and strode to the kitchen. “Hey, sweetheart…” His voice was a low murmur and grew fainter by the second.
River glanced at Nikhail. She rose to her feet, as if drawn by an unseen force, and Nikhail did the same. Their bodies swayed together, the distance between them closing. The handsome air fae cupped her cheek, running his thumb down her skin, and he smiled. Gods above, that expression was one that River would never get enough of. She could lose herself in it forever.
“I’m so proud of you.”
Her lips quirked up. “Yeah?”