She stripped in the bathroom and went to turn the water on. Her hand hovered over the knob, and she froze. She’d been showering in cold water since her last storm, thinking she wasn’t deserving of luxurious comforts like hot water, but maybe…
Maybe she had been wrong.
She imagined that if Nikhail knew she’d been doing this, he’d put a stop to it immediately. He’d tell her she was beautiful and strong and that her curse didn’t rule her. That she was worthy of warmth and care and love.
And River let his words, imaginary though they were, seep over her. She drank them in, then turned on the water.
It was hot as it ran over her, and heat sank into her bones.
Yes, her world was heavy and dark.
Yes, she was cursed, and her mother hated her, and her father was gone.
Yes, she was broken…
But none of that seemed as terrifying as it once had. Because even the darkness couldn’t keep Nikhail from her side. It couldn’t stop the stars from shining beyond the clouds.
Even the darkness, it seemed, couldn’t stop her from finding happiness.
CHAPTER 20
Forgiveness
River toweled off her hair and ran a brush through it before pulling on a pair of leggings and a worn T-shirt. She slipped the necklace Nikhail had given her over her neck, smiling as she traced the jewelry, before she followed the low rumble of male voices to the living room.
The conversation cut off the moment she stepped into the space. Between one breath and the next, tension swelled.
River froze, taking in the scene.
Ryker was sitting on the sofa, an empty spot beside him. He wore running shoes, jeans, and a long-sleeved shirt. No amount of civilian clothing could hide his posture, which gave him away as a military man immediately.
On the other side of the room, Nikhail occupied a large armchair. He must’ve used Atlas’s shower, because his hair was damp. He’d exchanged his sweatpants for his typical suit, the put-together attire stirring warmth in River’s core. Nikhail appeared comfortable, his legs spread in a uniquely masculine fashion, but River didn’t miss the slight tension in his shoulders or the way he slowly scanned the room.
Atlas had forgone a seat, instead choosing to lean against the wall between the kitchen and living room. Dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans, the bespectacled redhead looked less like the professor he was and more like a biker. Colorful tattoos covered his arms and neck, adding to that image.
Atlas lifted his mug to his lips, amusement dancing in his eyes.
River wasn’t sure what had happened between Nikhail and Ryker before her arrival, but there wasn’t any evidence of fighting. A sign of improvement, she hoped. Especially since Nikhail was rapidly becoming the most important person in her life.
Silence expanded. Each moment felt more strained than the last, a marked difference from how things usually were when Nikhail, Ryker, and Atlas were in a room together.
It had never been like this before, but then again, River had never had mind-blowing sex with her brother’s best friend, either. She supposed a little awkwardness was rather natural, in that case.
Either way, River didn’t regret last night. How could she, when being with Nikhail had felt so magical and right?
She might come to regret this, though. Maybe she should’ve taken the easy way out and let Nikhail deal with her brother. Everyone was watching her, and being the center of attention in this tense moment was awkward and uncomfortable.
River briefly considered turning around and hiding in the spare room before she shut that idea down. She was an adult. A Mature fae. A doctor, for the gods’ sakes.
She could do this.
“Ryker—” she started.
“River, I’m so fucking sorry,” Ryker said at the same time, shooting to his feet.
Sorrow and regret were painted on his face, and her heart cracked in her chest. If she hadn’t already decided to talk to her brother, the way he looked—like he was a moment away from shattering—would’ve solidified it for her.
“I know,” she said.