“They had information we needed,” Nikhail said.
Well. That could be interpreted in several ways.
River wasn’t sure she wanted to know whether Nikhail was using the past tense because the person was now dead, or simply because he’d gotten his information.
And that… was strange. She probably should’ve been disgusted or horrified by the thought of Nikhail killing someone, but surprisingly, she… wasn’t.
River felt a distinct lack of disgust, if she was being honest. It was probably because she also carried the weight of a multitude of deaths on her soul. If anything, it connected her even more with him.
Nikhail drew River closer. Their chests just barely touched.
“You don’t need to worry about them,” he said, misinterpreting her silence. “The information we acquired is solid, and the Chancellor has already sent a team to look into it. No one is going to hurt you, River.”
This wasn’t the first time Nikhail had made such a promise, and River was starting to realize he meant every word.
He really would do everything in his power for her.
That probably should’ve scared River, but like the thought of Nikhail killing someone, it didn’t.
Nikhail placed his finger under her chin, lifted her face, and studied her intently. “How are the clouds today, River?”
He remembered. Healwaysremembered.
At that moment, the manacles were so light, she barely noticed them.
“The clouds are dark. Or they were.” She rolled her bottom lip through her teeth. “They don’t seem so bad, now that you’re here.”
“Is that why you’re up?”
“Partially. I just couldn’t get my mind to be quiet, you know? My thoughts kept spinning.”
His head tilted. “And now?”
“Now they don’t seem as pressing or as loud.”
His lips kicked up, and gods, it was a beautiful sight. “Good. I’ll admit that selfishly, I’m glad you’re still up.” His fingers lightly braceleted her wrist, above the manacle. “I missed you.”
River drew nearer to Nikhail, tilting up her head. She couldn’t stay away from him any more than the stars could distance themselves from the moon. “I missed you, too, Nik.”
It seemed she was always doing that these days.
His amber eyes darkened, and his lips parted. The air thickened. Neither of them looked away.
The thundering of River’s heart grew louder in her ears. Soon, it was the only sound she could hear. A voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she was broken and dangerous, but the words didn’t seem as sharp as they used to. The warning wasn’t as loud.
River knew that Nikhail would be better off without her. He’d certainly be safer. And yet, the air fae didn’t seem to understand that. Every time she tried to push him away, he just kept coming back, more determined than ever to stay by her side.
And River was tired.
Tired of being alone.
Tired of the clouds and darkness.
Tired of being cursed and dangerous.
Tired of being afraid of herself.
Why should she suffer alone, bearing the weight of her burdens on her own, when Nikhail had proven time and again that he would be the rock she needed, if only she’d let him?