“It’s true.” He drew his wife close and kissed her softly. “You’re going to change the world, sweetheart, and I couldn’t be prouder of you.”
The vampire’s cheeks colored, a feat for her kind, and she slapped his chest playfully. “Stop, Ry. That’s too much.”
Ryker wrapped his arm around his bride and held her close. “Never. I have full faith in you. This will be amazing.”
He’d been right. From the moment Brynleigh and Zanri launched their foundation, they’d been changing lives in theRepublic of Balance. Children who had been going hungry were now being fed. Rundown orphanages were getting much-needed repairs. New furniture was coming in. Clothes were being purchased. Healthy food was available in abundance.
“We’re throwing a fundraising ball in the spring,” Brynleigh said presently, pulling River’s attention back to her. She named the date and time. “You should come. I think you’d enjoy it.”
A ball.
The very thought of putting on a fancy dress and mingling with the Republic’s upper echelon had River’s stomach churning. Yet she knew how hard Brynleigh had been working to raise money. She couldn’t just ignore the fundraiser, even if she desperately wanted to do nothing more than climb back into bed.
Besides, it was a few months away. Practically a lifetime.
“I’ll think about it,” River said. It was about all she could promise, right now. “You’ll send me the details?”
“Of course. Ry would love it if you came.” The vampire’s phone trilled, and she answered the call. “Hello, you’ve reached Brynleigh Waterborn.” She glanced at River and mouthed, “Sorry.”
“No worries.”
“Yes, I got that email. I’ll have to check and see…” Brynleigh hurried out of the room with a bounce in her step. She seemed happy, both in life and in her marriage, and River admired that. Envied it, too, if she was being honest.
A moment later, the study door snicked shut. The sound echoed through the house. Marlowe padded over to River, looking up at her with a wide, adoring gaze.
“Well, I guess it’s just the two of us today,” River said, scratching Marlowe on his head.
Marlowe wagged his tail, as if to say,“Yep.”Eventually, River drew her gaze away and focused on the phone in front of her.
Even though she’d been itching to text Nikhail earlier, now that the device was back in her possession, she was scared to look at it. There would be a plethora of messages, emails, and missed calls waiting for her, and the thought of checking them had ice sluicing through her veins.
River flipped the phone over, hiding the black screen. She stared at the striations on the counter until they blurred together.
Gods. Why was this so hard? Why dideverythingfeel so difficult?
The clock on the microwave declared that River had been awake for over two hours, and what did she have to show for it? She’d taken a cold shower, brushed her hair, and half-eaten her breakfast.
She felt like a gods-damned failure.
Before, she’d been able to wake up half an hour before a morning shift and race to the hospital, purchasing a muffin and a coffee on her way in. Sure, sometimes she’d be a few minutes late, but she’d been working on that.
Before, she’d scarf down a meal in fifteen minutes on her break, barely taking time to breathe.
Before, even though she’d been cursed, she’d been a complete person who had a handle on their life.
But she hadn’t been broken before. Not really.
Right now, River couldn’t imagine moving any faster. The mere thought of pulling on shoes, tying the laces, and going for a walk felt like a monumental task. She couldn’t imagine the effort it would take to go to Dyna’s temple to pray. Gods fucking above, she was hiding from her emails.
There was a word for this, the way River felt. Bleak and alone and so fucking desolate that she didn’t know what to do with herself, but it was escaping her right now.
The next time River looked up, another half-hour had passed. The quiet hum of Brynleigh’s voice was the only sound in the house, except for Marlowe’s soft snores where he slept at River’s feet.
River forced herself to stand up. Every movement was drawn out and felt like trudging through mud. She cleared off her plate, put it in the dishwasher, and picked up her phone.
Ignoring the intimidating screen, she made her way to the couch. Picking up the blanket resting across the back, she pulled it over her shoulders and wrapped it around herself.
River plugged in her phone and let her head fall back. She’d just rest for a few minutes, and then…