Her hand traveled to her thigh, but she was afraid to pinch herself. What if the pain made her wake up, alone in her apartment? What if it wasn’t real? Was a dream so bad if it meant she got to talk to her dad again?
The questions were crippling, encasing her in ice and rendering her incapable of moving.
River wasn’t sure how long she stood there, her fingers hovering over her leg, before her father shifted. He lifted a hand, the bedsheets crinkling beneath him as he moved, patting the mattress with a nearly translucent hand.
“Come here, River.”
The ice around her melted at the sound of her father’s voice. She wanted to do what he was asking. The gods only knew how much she wanted it. But she had to know if this was a dream. She wasn’t sure her heart could handle finding out this wasn’t real later.
Drawing in a deep breath, she pinched her thigh as hard as she could. She braced herself to wake up in bed, on her own. For this all to be a dream.
But…
Pain shot through her leg.
“Oh, gods.” The cry slipped from her lips as she shot towards the bed. Grabbing the chair resting by the wall, she dragged it behind her.
Real.
This was real. Her father was awake, and he was talking to her.
River made it to her father’s bedside in record time, falling into the seat without ever taking her eyes off his blurry form. She reached out, sniffling as she gently picked up his hand and cupped it between hers.
Gods above, his hand was far too light. That was a bad sign. His body was quickly deteriorating. The doctor in her was panicking, but River shoved that down. She couldn’t focus on that right now.
Lowering her head, River brushed a kiss across the back ofher father’s papery hand. “I missed you, Daddy,” she whispered, her voice cracking. “So, so much.”
It was more than just her move to Lakewater. She missed spending time with her dad, watching laser games with him, and talking to him regularly, even if he hadn’t been able to respond for many years. More than that, she missed having a parent who loved her.
“I know, darling.” He coughed, and it sounded like his lungs were being torn apart from the inside out. “I missed you, too.”
His last words were barely audible as he broke into another coughing fit.
“Oh, Daddy.” No amount of medical training could’ve ever prepared her for the sound of her father’s pain. It affected her far more than that of her patients, and her heart strained in her chest. “Where does it hurt? I can get you something for the pain, or I can call the nurses back in if you prefer.”
“No, don’t.”
Her brows furrowed. “But?—”
“I don’t want anything,” he said hoarsely. “I just want to talk to you.”
That ache in her heart expanded. “Daddy, if you’re in pain…”
“No, River,” he said firmly. “I love you, my darling, but I don’t want any medicine.” He rested his head against the pillow and briefly shut his eyes. “I don’t want to risk losing a moment of precious time with you.”
Hot, salty tears streamed down River’s face, and she did nothing to stop them. Was this what it was like to be unconditionally loved by a parent? To have someone put her needs above theirs? Was it supposed to hurt like this?
“Okay, Daddy,” she whispered. She poured a glass of waterfrom the nightstand and held it to his lips. He drank slowly, gratitude filling his gaze. “What do you want to talk about? Sports? Work? The weather? You name it, we’ll chat about it.”
The topic of conversation didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was here.
“You, River.” He placed his frail hand on top of hers. “You and your brother. I want to hear about your lives. Your work. Tell me what I missed.”
His words were knives to her heart, reminding her that this time was a precious gift that could slip away at any moment. Minutes. Hours. Neither of them knew how long they’d have before the Stillness dug its claws into his mind and pulled him back into its dark embrace.
More tears flowed down River’s cheeks. Gods, there were so many of them. Who knew she could cry so much when she was happy?
“Of course, Daddy.” She wiped the palm of her hand on her cheeks, forcing a watery smile on her face. “We can talk about whatever you want, but I’d like to call Ryker first, if that’s okay?”