After all, being in the presence of her storm, even as a spectator, would be better than never seeing it again.
CHAPTER 13
An Unwise Fae
PRESENT DAY
Over the years, Nikhail had become a master of ignoring the way his heart ached around River. He’d grown accustomed to the way his soul yearned for her, to the pull that he constantly felt around her.
He’d even grown used to the emptiness deep inside him. He was missing a piece of himself, but he’d long since accepted that this would be the price he paid for pushing River away. It was for her own good.
A wiser fae would’ve stopped seeing the forbidden object of their desires, knowing that it would make things easier for them. They would’ve done everything they could to avoid the other person.
Nikhail never claimed to be a wise fae. In fact, as he stood in the lavish ballroom in Waterborn House, he was fairly certain he was a fool. That was the only explanation for why he’d accepted Representative Waterborn’s invitation to herWinter Solstice soirée. She’d invited several members of the military, and as one of the highest-ranking intelligence officers in the Fae Division, that had included him.
That was why he’d accepted, but the black box in his pocket was the reason he was here.
Tell her how you feel.
Nysa’s words echoed through his mind, a reminder of his purpose.
He’d felt confident when he grabbed the smaller box, but now that he stood in Waterborn House, surrounded by its splendor, he was second-guessing himself. Wealth was on display everywhere he looked, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t intimidate him.
From the golden vases sitting on the windowsills to the glimmer of jewels that must have cost thousands, he was reminded that he didn’t belong here.
The estate had been guarded when his taxi had pulled up half an hour ago, and he’d had to show his ID and invitation to security before they allowed him through the gates. He’d been ushered inside the ballroom, where the party was already underway. He didn’t recognize anyone, and he’d spent his time alternating between studying the room and berating himself for coming.
Gods, he wished Atlas were here. The earth fae professor had a calming, if a little strange, demeanor that would’ve been good at a time like this. Unfortunately, he never attended these types of functions.
Honestly, Nikhail understood why. Nothing made him feel more out of his depth than Waterborn House. Even the furtive glances from the other guests reminded him he didn’t belong.
Coming here was a stupid idea. Why did he ever think thatRiver would want to talk to him alone? Sure, she’d come to him for help with her storm, but that was because of their connection through Ryker.
No, the longer Nikhail stood in the ballroom, the more he realized he’d been an idiot. Who was he to think that River would give all of this up for him? He could never buy her a house like this, even if he worked every single day for the rest of his very long life. The kind of wealth the Waterborns had was passed on from one generation of long-lived fae to the next.
The box in his pocket felt like a hundred-pound weight, and despite the black tuxedo he wore, he felt naked.
Nikhail must’ve been a fool, because even though he suspected his heart would be crushed tonight, he wasn’t going to leave. He would see this through, and perhaps once River turned him down, he could move on.
His magic chilled at the thought of her spurning his affections, and that pull he’d felt towards her since the day they met twisted.
“Would you like a drink, sir?” A server dressed in black paused in front of him.
“Gods, yes.” He accepted the glass, curling his fingers around the stem. A drink was good; it would take his mind off his impending rejection. “Thank you.”
“Of course, sir. Enjoy the celebrations.”
Nikhail wasn’t sure what to say to that—would he enjoy this? Unlikely, since he expected to get his heart crushed. Luckily, the server moved on. Swirling the sparkling white wine, Nikhail inhaled deeply before taking a sip.
Sands save him. Even the damned wine tasted like money. It shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did. Before he’d met the Waterborns, he hadn’t even known wealth had a taste.
The wine was yet another reason why the box in his pocket was a stupid idea, another reminder that he didn’t belong here. These people were so far out of his league that he couldn’t even fathom coming close to them.
The ballroom was slowly filling up as guests dressed in their finest milled about the space, enjoying the Representative’s hospitality.
The Waterborn matriarch had yet to make an appearance, and Nikhail was grateful for that fact. He hadn’t had the displeasure of ever being alone with Tertia, but he’d heard enough from Ryker to know that his friend’s mother was all business, all the time.
Being a Representative wasn’t just a job for her. It was her entire life. Her calling. Her duty. Her only love, other than her husband. She made sure that everything reflected her position in society, including this get-together.