“It is, but in the end, it didn’t matter. Tertia was ready to fight.” River hugged her arms around herself and shut her eyes, as if it could block out the memories. “I greeted her, and she… she…”
The words didn’t want to come.
“It’s all right,” Eliza murmured. “Take your time.”
River drew in a deep breath, letting this morning’s events flood her mind.
The air in the formal dining room was as thick as mud after a rainstorm, and River was sinking into it. Her mother’s piercing brown stare pinned her in place, rendering movement impossible. Her breath quickened, and she tried to remember her meditative thoughts, but they were escaping her.
Why had she thought this was a good idea? Why had she thought that today, things would be different?
“Your brother called,” Tertia said coldly.
River licked her lips, her mouth drying. “Oh?”
The Representative angled her head, a hunter watching herprey. “He tells me that you’ve been accepted into the surgical residency program in Lakewater.”
Tertia’s ice-cold voice sent shivers cascading down River’s spine, and it took everything she had not to visibly shudder.
“Yes, that’s correct.” River had celebrated her acceptance with her brother and his wife, Brynleigh, last weekend before enlisting Ryker’s help to tell their mother. She’d hoped the news would go over better coming from him. Most things did. After all, Tertia seemed to at leastlikeRyker.
After the Incident, River had thrown herself into her studies. Thanks to the best private tutors that money could buy, she finished her secondary education early and got a head start on her university course load. She’d fast-tracked two degrees, which meant she was a few years younger than most in her program, including her best friend, Ember. That had never bothered her, though.
When River was working, she was able to help people. She would never be able to atone for her sins, not even if she worked every minute of every day for the rest of her long life, but she’d never stop trying.
She owed it to those whose lives had been destroyed because of her loss of control.
Long minutes passed in silence, but River didn’t speak. She’d been raised in Waterborn House, after all, and she’d committed her mother’s rules to memory long ago.
Good daughters do not raise their voices in their mother’s presence.
Good daughters do not speak out of turn.
Good daughters do not destroy villages, kill thousands of humans, and bring shame upon their families.
The last rule had been added after the Incident. As if River would ever forget what she’d done. As if the ghosts of those she’dmurdered didn’t haunt her on a nightly basis. As if her curse didn’t constantly course through her veins, reminding her just how bad of a daughter she was.
Tertia had never been a great mother, but ever since the Incident, she’d made hating River one of her life goals. Nothing could shake the Representative’s immense displeasure in her only daughter, not even Ryker’s choice to Choose and subsequently marry a vampire.
Even shopping, which had once been an activity that both Tertia and River enjoyed doing together, was no longer a source of pleasure. Every single interaction with the Representative, big and small, was painful.
After what felt like a lifetime, the put-together water fae stepped forward. Tertia drummed her manicured nails on the table, the steady rhythm echoing the beating of River’s heart.
“You will not disappoint this family, River.”
The subtext was crystal clear: You will not disappointme.
Never mind that River had spent years learning how to heal people. Never mind that she was training to be a surgeon and had dedicated her life to saving lives. Never mind that she hadn’t lost control once since the Incident.
None of that mattered because it didn’t directly involve Tertia. Everything was, and always would be, about her.
For some reason, when River had received the acceptance letter to the surgical residency program, she’d thought that, for once, Tertia might be proud of her. After all, not only was she the youngest student in her year, but she was graduating at the top of the class. She’d worked her ass off to excel in every single subject.
But no.
In her mother’s eyes, River Emeline Waterborn was, and always would be, a disappointment. The Cursed One, nothing more.
The sting of this morning’s conversation remained in River’s chest, and she rubbed her fist over her sternum. Sighing, she opened her eyes.