“Evenmorespecial. Sometimes, a fae will feel a call deep inside.” Her father placed a hand on his chest, rubbing in a circle. “Here, in their soul. And sometimes, when they feel that special connection, they’ll want to do something to commemorate that special feeling. Something that will last forever.”
“Oh.” Those were a lot of big words, and River paused,processing them. “Okay.” She peered up at him, her brows furrowed. “But theydolove each other, right?”
That seemed extra important.
Laughing, Cyrus rose to his feet and led her inside. “Yes, my darling girl. Icar and Myan love each other so very much.”
And later that day, when River sat on her father’s knee and watched as the earth and air fae stood beneath the floral bower, clasping each other’s hands and making vows in Ancient Fae, she knew her father was right.
A bondingwasdeeper than a marriage, and these men loved each other deeply.
With a shuddering breath, River returned to the present. She ran her thumb down the translucent skin of her father’s hand, the light, papery quality causing her heart to squeeze.
It was just like Mrs. Valois’s had been before…
No.
River refused to allow that train of thought to continue. She would not think about those similarities because her father would heal. He had to. The alternative was too dark to think about, too awful to even consider.
“Ryker and Brynleigh are going to bond tomorrow, Daddy.” She adjusted her father’s pillow, fluffing it behind his head. “They’re already married, as you know, but this is more.”
She paused for a response that never came.
“I know he wishes you could be there. You’ll be sorely missed.” Another tear ran down her cheek, and she sucked in a shaky breath, turning her attention to her father’s blanket. She smoothed it out, talking while she worked.
“Do you remember what we were chatting about before, when you were awake? About my… Nik.” She rubbed a wrinkle near his feet, tucking him in so he’d stay warm. “He’s here, and I… I have to tell him the whole story. About me. The things I’ve done.”
The machine by her father’s head chirped steadily.
“He’s been so kind to me, Daddy, but I’m not good for him.” Her magic pulsed in her veins, and she settled back in her seat. “I don’t think I’m good for anyone. Not like this, not when I’m so dangerous. I know you don’t think I’m cursed, but the problem is, there’s too much magic. I’m scared of what I might do.”
She reached for her neck, running her fingers over the smooth water drop. “I want him, Daddy.” The hushed confession was as loud as a roar of thunder in this too-silent room. “I want him, but I can’t have him. I’m afraid that I’ll hurt him, and if I do, I won’t be able to live with myself.”
Living with the consequences of the darkness running through her veins had never hurt as much as it did now.
River stayed there, holding her father’s hand and pouring out her heart, until a knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts.
“I’m here to administer your father’s evening dose,” Serena said, standing in the doorway.
Wiping away the tears that had started flowing down her cheeks at some point, River nodded and rose to her feet.
“You’ll keep an eye on him?” she asked as Serena administered several shots.
“Of course.” The nurse smiled, an expression that River recognized from work. It was a look of pity mixed with understanding, and gods, River hated being on the receiving end of it. “I’ll let you know if there’s any change in his condition.”
“Thank you.” Placing the picture of Icar and Myan’s bonding on the nightstand, River bent and brushed her lips over her father’s forehead. Cold. He was so, so cold.
“I love you, Daddy,” she whispered.
This time, the silence seemed heavier than before. River drifted to the door, gripping the frame as she stared at her father. Drinking in the sight of him…
Committing him to memory.
Even though she was actively trying to forget what happened to Mrs. Valois while also ignoring the fact that the Stillness had no cure, she couldn’t do it. Not entirely.
River felt like she was moments away from curling up in a ball and crying for hours. She should move because her magic was becoming more tumultuous with each passing minute, but she couldn’t make herself leave her father.
Minutes passed before the air shifted. She sensed Nikhail’s powerful presence before his steady footsteps reached her, and her magic calmed as the scent of almond and cedar washed over her.