Because of River.
Brynleigh’s chest burned as if someone had punched her in the heart.
The old grief of loss was still present, but a fresh ache burrowed its way into her heart.
She could’ve had this. A place in a new family. Hugs. Kisses. Love.
Maybe things would’ve been different if Brynleigh had stopped Zanri and explained everything. Maybe she wouldn’t have ended up in the dungeon. Maybe Ryker could have forgiven her if she’d confessed everything sooner.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
All the maybes were silver knives stabbing Brynleigh’s heart.
Ryker still held River, who had buried her face in his shoulder. He murmured something too quiet even for Brynleigh to hear. This was a fucking private moment, and she was interrupting it.
This was wrong. She shouldn’t be here. Shouldn’t be witnessing this.
Not after everything.
Brynleigh staggered back, needing distance.
Alone. She was so gods-damned alone.
The pain of her loss had never been as poignant as it was right now. No matter how tightly she hugged herself, it wasn’t enough. Her stomach cramped, and tears pricked behind her eyes.
She hadn’t shed a single tear when she killed the Earth Elf, but now it felt like she was moments away from weeping.
Her gaze dropped to the floor. Baseboards had never been so intriguing.
After a few minutes, Ryker murmured, “What’s wrong, River?”
The concern in his voice made Brynleigh feel even worse.
Ryker loved his sister so much. It was fucking selfish to even think about it, but Brynleigh wanted him to talk toherlike that again. She wouldn’t be nearly as lonely if she even had a fraction of the affection Ryker showed River.
The younger water fae hiccuped.
“Mom’s still on her work trip in the Northern Region, so it’s just me and the nurses watching Dad. I had an exam earlier, and I was up all night studying. When I came back… It’s bad. He was lucid earlier, but now…”
“The Stillness is getting worse?” Ryker whispered.
Brynleigh looked up in time to see his hand curl into a fist.
“Yeah.” River nodded.
“Fuck.” Ryker exhaled and closed his eyes for a brief moment. “You did the right thing by calling me.”
“I’m… I’m so worried about him,” River admitted. “If he… If this… If it’s…”
“Don’t.” Ryker’s voice was firm, but tinges of grief edged his voice. “Don’t say the words.”
If there was ever a moment for the floor to open up and swallow Brynleigh whole, this was it. She wished she could call on her shadows and step into the Void, but the bracelet on her wrist meant Ryker would find her. Besides, making him chase her right now would be selfish. Finding reprieve from this situation wouldn’t be worth it, not when it would tear him away from his family.
She didn’t want to force Ryker to pick hisassetover his dad and sister.
She didn’t want to be here at all.
Brynleigh stumbled back another step and bumped into a vase. It rattled, and she grabbed it before it could hit the ground, but she wasn’t fast enough.