“I am rather delightful, aren’t I?” I smirked.
“When you’re not stabbing me, you are.” His face twisted, and he looked serious. “You make me happy, Aileana. When I’m with you, I forget about my sister and the destruction she’s causing.”
“That’s good, right?” I thought it was, but one look in his eyes told me he was still in pain.
Xander drew in a breath. “I’m… Guilt has been haunting me since Saena’s return.” He paused, but I did not push him. A few moments later, he continued. “Every time I hold you in my arms, every time I kiss you or make love to you, waves of guilt slam into me. How can I find happiness with you when Saena is destroying the world we live in? How can I smile when people are dying because of my sister?”
My eyes widened, and I put my hand on his arm. “Xander, your sister’s sins are not your own.”
“She was my responsibility,” he said gruffly, a dark look overtaking his face. “I should have looked after her. Helped her.” He pulled out of my grasp, forming a fist before slamming it into the nearest tree. The trunk trembled and snow fell in a powdery blanket as he growled, “Saena was mine to protect, and instead, I failed her. The draken took over because I left her all alone.”
His eyes lifted to mine, and a staggering amount of pain came through the bond. I gasped, clutching at my heart. How had he hidden it from me for so long? All traces of happiness were gone. In the back of my head, I knew the others were waiting for us, but this was more important. I couldn’t let Xander remain in pain. Not if I could help it.
“It’s not your fault,” I whispered, shaking my head. “None of this is your fault.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Sunshine.” He frowned. “This is all my fault. It’s my weight to bear.”
“No,” I insisted. “Do you remember what I told you when you shared with me about the White Death?”
His eyes darkened, but he didn’t respond.
Not to be deterred, I stepped toward him. “I choose you. All of you. That includes your burdens, your worries, and your hurts. Do me the honor of allowing me to shoulder those with you. Allow me to bear the weight of your burdens, Elyx.”
A long moment passed, and his gaze searched mine.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ll… try.”
That was better than nothing, especially since I knew how much Xander hated asking for help. He was strong, this dragon of mine, and he’d spent so many years on his own. But there were two of us now. Two souls to bear each other’s burdens; two bodies to work alongside the other; two minds to solve problems.
Not wanting to push him too far, I forced a smile on my face. “Come on,” I said. “I’m sure the others are waiting for us.”
After a moment, Xander’s arm slung over me. He held me against him as we continued towards the pillar of smoke, the snow leveling out as we approached the others.
Soon, our group stood atop a hill blanketed in white, looking down at the lone building nestled in the nearby mountainside. Xander was a quiet, broody presence by my side, but he was here.
“I think we can get there in a few hours.” Hope infused my words as I adjusted the pack on my back. “Maybe they’ll even have some warm food.”
There was only so much bread and cheese one could eat, and after five days of strict, bland rations, I was at the point of being done with it. What I needed was something sweet. Preferably something sweet, warm, and gooey. That was the trifecta of deliciousness. But for now, I would settle for something that wasn’t packed and dried.
My stomach grumbled, agreeing with me.
Kysha groaned. “I would give anything for a shower. Snow baths just aren’t the same.”
Daegal chuckled. “I’ll be happy as long as they can help us.”
“No one’s going to be happy if we just stand here chatting,” Xander said, moving past to continue down the hill. “Let’s keep going before it snows again.”
Sure enough, a glance at the sky confirmed that another storm was indeed on its way. Chatter rose as the others speculated about what we might find at the cottage.
Thoughts of warm tea and a crackling fire filled my mind, keeping me occupied as we hiked. Xander was silent, surely thinking about Saena, but I didn’t push him.
I would be here when he was ready.
* * *
When the sunwas high in the sky, the snow glistened like diamonds. My body ached and my legs were sore, but none of that mattered, because finally, the source of smoke was so close, I could smell the burning wood. A stout log cabin was nestled in the snow, looking like someone had dropped it in the middle of the forest.
A well-trodden path led from the entrance of the cabin to an outhouse nearby, and the tops of several large garden beds peeked out from beneath the blanket of snow. Vibrant curtains the color of fresh grass hung in the windows, seeming rather out of place for the middle of the woods, and a pillar of black smoke rose from the chimney. Underlying the scent of smoke was another one that made my stomach grumble.