But even if mates were rare, I already knew.
There wasno wayXander was my mate. Mates were supposed to be your person. The one who cared for you when no one else would. Mates were supposed to love you until you Faded. When people made the decision to accept a mating bond, it was for life. Accepting a mating bond wasn’t a decision to be made lightly.
Once bonded, mates would never be with anyone else. When one of them Faded, the other would be so overcome with grief that they would quickly follow.
To lose one’s bonded mate was to lose one’s other half.
Two of the servants in my tower had been mates. After Matthias, Paeral and Adan had been the two kindest people I had ever met. Their love for each other had been a shining example of what I had been missing in my life. They made being mates look easy. They were always helping each other and finishing each other’s sentences. As I thought of them, a pang went through me. I hoped they wouldn’t be punished for my escape.
“Elf or not,” Nonna whispered, jolting me out of my thoughts, “your auras are intertwined. Have you ever known me to be wrong, boy?”
“No, but Nonna, I can’t be with anyone. You know that. I won’t risk it. Not after what happened to…” Xander’s voice lowered, and I clenched my fists.
Whatever was between me and Xander wasnoteasy. It was not simple. Putting aside the fact that we had just met, I couldn’t ignore that he was the most infuriating person I had ever met.
Dammit.
“Xander,” the witch chided. “Remember who you are.”
“Nonna,” he hissed, as something loud slammed onto the table, “you mustn’t speak of such things. When I was at the university…”
Xander’s voice lowered, and I couldn’t hear what he was saying.
Who is he? He went to university? Where?
There were only two that I knew of in Ithenmyr, but when I tried to picture the big, burly male bent over a desk with a quill in his hand, it seemed utterly preposterous.
“My child,” Nonna sounded like she was moving around in the kitchen as she spoke, “You can’t choose who your essence…”
Her voice lowered, and moments later, I decided I’d had enough. Not wanting to be discovered eavesdropping, I coughed as I pushed open the door.
“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” I exclaimed loudly.
My brows rose as I took in the two of them. They were both sitting at a tiny wooden table with a porcelain teapot between them. My stomach grumbled at the sight of an overflowing plate of biscuits resting among tiny tea cups painted with flowers.
“Of course not, dear. Your presence is never an interruption.” Nonna pushed back her chair and stood. She had changed her apron and pulled another wooden spoon out of a large pocket. I raised a brow as she walked to the fire, reaching in to stir something in a large pot balancing over the flames as she continued to speak. “Isn’t that right, Xander?”
At the sound of his name, Xander’s gaze flicked up from his teacup. The moment his eyes met mine, it felt as though my heart stopped in my chest. Everything seemed to slow as his eyes widened.
A beat passed, then two, before his jaw fell open. Xander’s golden gaze swept over me, starting at my hair and crawling all the way to my feet before coming back to meet my eyes. The fire in his eyes startled me, and I took a step back.
“You look…” He coughed, his cheeks reddening. “Better.”
Nonna looked up from the fire. “Better?” Waving her wooden spoon in the air, she chided. “That is no way to speak to a lady, Xander. Especially not one as stunning as the one before you.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said as I slid into the seat Nonna had vacated. I spread my skirts, settling them around me. “I’m not a lady.”
Nonna raised a brow, turning from the fireplace with her hands on her hips. “Nonsense, my dear.” She gestured to all of me with a smile on her face, and suddenly I knew where Xander had learned the gesture. “You cannot look like that and not call yourself a lady.”
A retort rose to the tip of my tongue, but before I could say it, Nonna shoved a plate in front of me. I hadn’t even seen her prepare it, but biscuits with slices of meats and cheese were sitting next to a bowl of the best-looking stew I’ve ever seen.
“Thank you,” I said as gratitude welled within me. My stomach grumbled at the amazing aroma coming from the steaming bowl.
The witch nodded. Her voice was full of authority as she said, “You are far too thin. You will eat, then you must sleep. I won’t allow you to go into Thyr without being well-rested.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said as I brought the first spoonful of stew to my mouth. It somehow tasted even better than it looked. The moment the first spoonful hit my tongue, my eyes widened. Flavors of deep, warming spices hit my palate and I devoured the entire bowl within the span of a few minutes.
I hadn’t realized how hungry I was, but once the food entered my body, I could do nothing more than eat.