I couldn’t breathe. My heart felt like it was trapped in my chest. I couldn’t move at all. I was a statue, held firm by the wave of disbelief washing over me.
He said it.
How could he? Words had power. Had no one ever taught him that? How dare he voice the words that had hung between us since we’d encountered the Winged Soldiers in the forest?
He had given them life and now they existed and he couldn’t take them back. We couldn’t take them back.
Everything between us felt… different. Transformed. Irrevocably changed.
Xander groaned, the sound full of torment as he continued to speak. It was as though every word caused him physical pain as they forced their way out of his throat. Agony, absolute and utter agony tainted each word as he whisper-yelled, “I am yours and you aremine!”
My voice finally returned to me as I pushed myself to my feet. My legs shook beneath me as I took a wobbly step toward Xander. This male who had hurt me. Avoided me.
My mate.
“I know,” I whispered. And I did. The truth of his words was painfully clear to me. Achingly so. I understood this more than anything. “Xander, Iknow.” My voice broke as I repeated the phrase that had been churning within me all week. “I am yours. You are mine.”
The words echoed within me as they left my lips. My vision grew blurry as I took a step toward him, but he held up a hand.
“This wasn’t something I signed up for,” Xander growled. His brows were furrowed, his eyes hard as he stared at me. “A mate. A goddess-damned mate.”
“You think I asked for this? I was doing just fine before you came along, Xander.”
He ignored me, continuing on his own rant. “You don’t even like me. From the moment you came into my life, you have been nothing but trouble.”
“If it’s so much trouble, being my mate, then don’t accept the bond,” I hissed, my heart pounding. “No one is forcing it on you.”
It was common knowledge that mating bonds couldn’t be forced on anyone. Even when a bond existed, it had to be accepted by both parties. Then, and only then, could the bonding ceremony take place.
Of course, the logistics of such ceremonies were secret, but I knew they existed. Presumably, it didn’t matter, because this male didn’t want to be my mate. Perhaps in time, the bond between us would fray if we didn’t solidify it.
Or perhaps we would be left yearning for each other for the rest of our lives, unable to find love or peace without our match.
Considering my luck, it would probably be the latter.
Xander paced in front of me, his words coming out as a cross between a whisper and a plea, “You are my mate and you don’t even like me.”
I sucked in a deep breath, but before I could reply and set him straight, he shook his head. All the emotion disappeared from his face as he pulled the cold, steely mask back over his features. My heart plummeted in my chest as he snarled, “Don’t. Just don’t. This was a mistake. I can’t… I’m not ready to talk to you right now, Aileana.”
He turned on his heel, following in Daegal’s footsteps as he disappeared from my view.
A mistake.
“Xander, wait,” I cried out, but it was too late. He was gone. My heart seemed to break in my chest as a crack of thunder came from above. The sun slipped behind clouds as rain began to fall.
I slumped to the ground and lay my head in my hands. I stopped fighting the tears that had been threatening to come ever since Xander began to speak.
Minutes gave way to hours, and I wept.
I wept for the way my life had turned out. For my inability to express myself. For my mate,who thought I hated him.
The rain soaked me to the bone, and I wept for the situations that had brought us to this point.
He was my mate, and I wept.
The Red Shadow
Ididn’t move from my spot in the clearing until the thunderstorm had abated. I couldn’t. At that moment, moving felt like too much.