“I can’t help but notice you’ve been referring to the AI as a ‘he’ a lot more recently, Carl.”
Olga slumped over in the driver’s seat. She had a debuff.Gingered. She was unconscious, and her health was rapidly draining.
“Oh, fuck!” I cried. “Finley!” I grabbed the frog and yanked her from the seat. She was weirdly heavy.
“Olga! Olga!” Finley cried as he awkwardly pulled himself forward.
Donut shot a magic missile at Great Rusty, who exploded, dying instantly.
Olga groaned. TheGingereddebuff remained, but she was suddenly awake. Her health stopped seeping, but she didn’t fully recover. She was just staring off into space.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
She didn’t respond.
“Shit,” I said. I sent a note to Mordecai.
Mordecai: Did you kill the mob that did it? It’ll return her soul, but she needs specialized healing from a cleric. She’ll be in a fugue until that happens. Good thing you have a backup driver.
I turned to Finley, who’d awkwardly stuck himself into the driver’s seat. “Floor it. Don’t stop for anything.”
“It did that voting thing for Great Rusty,” Donut said. “I said let the audience choose, and they’re voting now.”
We moved, bumping through the village, pregnant women and small, freckled children jumping out of the way as we smashed through the center of town, knocking over huts and cook pots. Imani and Elle were hot on our tail.
In seconds, we were past and back on the road.
“Well, that sucked,” I said. “At least we didn’t get embroiled?—”
New Quest. Pasty Inferno.
This is a mandatory quest!
Great Rusty, chieftain of the southern tribe has fallen. You blew him up, and then you ran over his corpse, and you didn’t even leave a note with your insurance information!
Soon, Maurice, the chieftain of the northern tribe, will learn of his enemy’s death and move in. And when that much power grows unchecked, everybody loses. The northern tribe will have enough power to march on Upano and devour everyone within.
Find and kill Maurice, chieftain of the northern tribe.
Reward:Whoever completes this quest will receive the contents of Maurice’s cook pot.
Warning: This is a mandatory quest. You will not be able to finish this race unless the Maurice on your track is dead.
Elle: Fucking hell, Carl.
“Goddamnit, Dr. Metcalf,” I said. “You said there weren’t any quests on this path! We don’t have time for this!”
Oh fuck off, Carl. This is just typical. Upgrade me, stop being selfish, and maybe you’ll get better intel on this stuff. I can’t read minds. The quest happened when the cat blew up the fat guy.
“Stop fighting,” Donut called. She suddenly fired another missile out the window. Then another. “They’re still out here! Finley, go faster!”
“We should’ve just followed the sausage truck,” Finley whined. “I like sausages.”
[ 44 ]
The piranhas did indeed fly.But by the time we reached the river, our shield had recharged. We had to inflate our tires fully to cross the river, and then we waited on the opposite bank for Imani and Elle’s APV to ford the river, which it did easily. The thing was meant to be amphibious even without upgrades.
The piranhas were especially strong for a mob that attacked in packs. Each one of the flying fish was level 50. They didn’t explode like the cannibals did against the shield, but instead sort of sizzled and stuck there for a few moments before dropping away dead.