“They already know,” I said. “Or Eris, at least, knows about it.”
“Eris knows everything,” Akuma replied. “She doesn’t count. Pandemonium always finds a way. I will pray she finds other ways to inflict her chaos on the world.”
“Why are you refusing to answer Carl’s question about why you wanted him to kill two teams?” Donut demanded.
Akuma sighed. “Because I knew the moment that happened, the system would pit him against a team of his friends, and he would have no choice but to help us.”
And that’s when I punched him in the face and shattered his nose.
[ 39 ]
Entering the Lollipop.
Despite the town’s population having taken a hit, this place was still packed. That same group of Japanese monsters, team Yokai, was on the karaoke stage singing. This time, the red Oni creature was onstage belting out “Careless Whisper” by George Michael. The male demon’s name was Yuto.
We’d re-muted Akuma and left him with about 2% health as we left the back room. I hadn’t finished asking him questions, but an imp entered the room and started flipping out about the dead imp on the counter, and we all had to leave. I exchanged a fist bump with the war mage to get him into my chat, and it worked. He said it would only work if he was on the same floor as me.
We left, but not before Louis got his milkshake and Prepotente excitedly picked up his pile of about two hundred sodas, all in tall glasses with colorful straws. Each one, apparently, gave a different buff.
When Louis drank his milkshake, the water that occasionally blew from his gills turned red and smelled like strawberry. He was getting it everywhere.
I continued to ask Akuma question after question in chat, but he wasn’t answering me except to tell me I was annoying him.
I didn’t trust him. I didn’t want to believe him. But his mention of Herot, plus Eris’s insistence that he did have a way to escape, kept me on the hook. So for right now, the plan was to trust but verify every step along the way.
Our immediate plan was to gather volunteers who were willing and able to travel to this Pineapple Cabaret and fight. Prepotente and Mordecai were going to try to figure out this shop-interface exploit, and I was going to task some of the strippers with returning to the Desperado Club to try to figure out the other method of opening a portal to the Cabaret.
All of this brought me back to the impossible problem I had with Emberus, Hellik, and now Eris.
I put my hand on Donut, reveling in her warmth, going over everything we had to do.
I was frustrated with the whole design of this floor, especially since everything was so dangerous. It was too rigid, too time-consuming. Everything we needed to do, we could only do between races. I missed our ability to just bounce around the map at will.
The chat was moving fast with people discussing the confusing conversation with the war mage.
Dozens of people were asking for a concise explanation of what was going on. Donut was in the chat, laying it out for everyone.
Donut: SO THIS PINEAPPLE PLACE IS LIKE A SUPER-NICE SAFE ROOM, BUT FOR NPCS. HE SAYS WE CAN GO THERE AND NOT GET SQUISHED WHEN THE FLOOR COLLAPSES, BUT WE’LL BE STUCK THERE. ONLY IT’S NOT SAFE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT GOT TAKEN OVER BY OGRES AND OTHER BAD GUYS. SO THIS WAR MAGE WANTS US TO CLEAN ITOUT FOR HIM, AND IN EXCHANGE HE THINKS WE CAN MAYBE GET OUT TO EARTH. BUT HOW THAT WORKS OR HOW WE GET THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE IS A LITTLE UNCLEAR. ALSO ELLE CRUSHED HIS RIGHT TESTICLE. SHE TURNED IT TO ICE AND SMASHED IT!
Louis: I think it was his left one!
Donut: WELL, NOW IT’S HIS ONLY ONE.
I wasn’t certain if Rosetta would know who Herot was since he came after her in the cookbook. She didn’t react to the name-drop, but the mention of Menerva clearly meant something to her, as she asked me a dozen questions. But she was hesitant to tell me more. Menerva wasn’t a cookbook author, but if she had truly given up everything to work with Herot, then I knew she was an ally. I just needed a way to talk to her.
We only had a few hours left. But if we could get to this other Corcunda, we could get this Dong quest buttoned up as well. It was now crucial that we complete it.
Tipid had a surprisingly deep knowledge about hidden guildhalls. More so than Mordecai and Mistress Tiatha combined, both of whom literally worked in guildhalls when they weren’t on manager duty.
And he insisted that this stage performance guild would be hidden here in the Lollipop.
Tipid hadn’t been with us at the C&W&U, but he was here now at the bar. I went to sit next to him while the others piled into their regular corner.
I hadn’t talked too much to him after he’d had his memory wiped, and I felt guilty about it.
“I don’t know about this thing with the war mages,” Tipid said as I slid in next to him. He motioned to the gremlin barkeeper, who started pouring a second beer. “Under normalcircumstances, the mere mention of any of this would be met with a severe beatdown from both the AI and the showrunners.”
“Yeah, it’s all off the rails,” I said. I nodded at the barkeeper. I started to take a sip but hesitated. This was a different beer than the one Imani had vetted last time we were in here.