Distance: 53 kilometers.
Track: Asphalt-paved road. Mostly flat.
Tasks required to complete: Just get to the finish line.
Environment: The Caves of the Screeching Death Manatees.
Hazards: Not yet discovered, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest the Screeching Death Manatees might be a problem.
Time Limit: 6 hours.
Current ranking: Unknown. Upgrade me to get real-time ranking updates.
It was pitch-black out. I scrambled to find the headlights. I found them and pulled the knob, but nothing happened.
“Carl, do you see what that thing is calling me!”
“Light! I need light,” I yelled.
Donut waved her paw, almost casually, and the entire area in front of us lit up brilliantly with herTorchspell.
Only some of the vehicles ahead had lights. One—already way off in the distance—was clearly a muscle car of some sort, but it was either a convertible or it had the roof ripped off. I could see two tall shapes in the thing before it disappeared. Right behind it was a fuzzy, four-legged bearlike creature that loped at breakneck speed. Yet another bug-like creature skittered, right on their tail. A minivan that made me think of Louis rumbled off.
Something jumped over us and evaporated into the darkness, melding into the shadows. I didn’t get a good view, but Donut hissed, “Dog.”
We tore over the checkered starting line, passing by what appeared to be a giant tumbleweed.
The strange round bush just sat there, unmoving in the middle of the wide road. The prickly thing was tall—just as tall as our truck—and it was a round tangle of weeds and brambles. I did a double take. Sticking straight out the center of the entire mess was the head of a goddamned unicorn. A unicorn ripped straight from a little kid’s Lisa Frank notebook. All I could see was the head, but it was a white horse with a rainbow-hued mane, which looked as if it had just been brushed. A horn that glittered like an opalescent seashell rose from the thing’s head. The head was about the size of a regular horse’s head, and it stuck out the top center of the tumbleweed as if it were wearing the brambles like a coat. I couldn’t tell what the hell I was looking at. The unicorn’s head appeared way too high for it to be standing on the ground.
Some sort of pinkish-red fuzzy rodent sat on the head of the unicorn, but I couldn’t tell what it was in the dark. The unicorn started shouting something at us, but my window was rolled up, and I couldn’t hear.
“I only saw six opponents,” I called, trying to look into the side mirror before realizing there were no side mirrors. “Donut, how many did you count?”
We knew at least one was behind us, assuming the unicorn tumbleweed was an opponent.
“I can’t see anything!” she shouted.
Ahead, the road was just a straight black highway with no markings. Despite the brightness of Donut’s spell, I couldn’t see anything on either side except random sickly-looking trees. There was an occasional glitter, implying there was water out there.
I tried to look at my minimap, but I received an error.
Your minimap is disabled while you are moving.
The GPSdidhave a map. But it was just a mostly straight line with no other features.
“It says we’re supposed to be in a cave,” I said. I could clearly see stars out the windshield.
The GPS didn’t answer or react.
I had the accelerator pressed all the way down, and we were moving about 70 miles per hour, which translated to about 112 kilometers per hour. The heavy truck didn’t seem to want to accelerate past that. I couldn’t see anyone in front of us at all. At this rate, we’d hit the finish line in just about twenty-five minutes if we didn’t stop.
Donut unleashed Mongo into the passenger’s side and jumped to his back. The dinosaur screeched in fear at appearing in such close quarters. He waved his wings, smacking me in the face, causing me to swerve.
“Careful!” I shouted. Mongo’s tail feathers reached all the way to the back of the long truck. He let out another fearful screech.
“It’s okay, Mongo,” Donut said. “Mommy needs you as a seat so I can look outside for bad guys.”
Mongo peeped again, but this time it had a different tone. I knew that tone.