New Achievement! Slip-’n’-slide.
Ungghh. Warm. So warm. Sotight. Unghh.
Reward:Why, yes. That was rewarding, wasn’t it?
The AI’s voice in my head glitched out a few times while giving that one as well, which was doubly concerning. It had been doing that more and more lately.
New Achievement! Brotein!
You gently caressed the nipple of a male boss in the middle of a boss battle.
All right, dude. You need to calm down. Boss battles are serious business.
Reward:We don’t reward deviancy.
“That is not what happened!” I exclaimed. “I barely touched it. With my hand, in this damn kangaroo suit!”
“Carl, what are you yelling at?” Donut asked.
Everyone paused to look at me. Nobody else had heard the achievement other than myself, so I knew I had to look absolutely insane.
New Achievement! ’76 Buccaneers!
So... you’re not dead. But you came in last place in your heat.
You’re not doing so great at this racing thing. You do remember this is a death game, right? Is it too late to consider a career change?
Reward:You’ve received a job application for a Big Shot Chicken location in Tucson, Arizona!
The reward was literally a non-magical, bent, half-shredded, and stained job application for the same fast-food restaurant we had the food truck for. At least I still had the Platinum Boss Box.
That ended up being an upgrade potion.
Skill Potion. Platinum Hotlist Expansion.
Drinking this potion will expand your 20-space hotlist into 25 spaces.
It also unlocks the Contingency skill, which allows multiple actions and reactions for items in the hotlist based on a predetermined set of circumstances.
I sent the description to Mordecai, and then I drank the potion manually. I still had the tang of burned sausage and fish in my mouth, and I could barely taste it. Behind us, the crowd cheered as Imani won a race.
A new tab is available in your interface. Hotlist contingencies.
“Huh,” I said, moving to the new tab. I already had something similar with my Heart Balance skill, which allowed me to set a potion to get automatically used when my health reached a certain level. This was much better and more programmable. I was pretty certain Lucia Mar already had this. Digging deeper, it appeared I could add up to ten automations, but those automations could utilize multiple items in my hotlist at the same time. I would need to spend some time playing with this.
The door to the garage opened, and Mongo stumbled in, screeching. He was still hammered.
“Mongo, no!” Donut called. “You’re supposed to be guarding Hedy!”
“No, Mr. Mongo,” Jamal called from behind at the same time. “You need to remain in the garage. We have been tasked with—” He grunted as he was pushed aside by Rend, who also entered the room, giggling.
And that’s when Mordecai entered the room, holding an armful of empty potion balls. “Carl, I need you to go to your bomber’s studio and...”
The reaper paused, dropped all the potion balls, and rose up in the air. He turned toward Rend, his voice turning deep and ominous. “And now you perish once again. The next time will herald the beginning of the end.”
Rend dropped dead right there in the safe room.
Your pet has died!