The war mage wanted me to kill two opposing teams. I didn’t know why, and if I didn’t know why, I wasn’t going to do it. At least not deliberately.
Shouting interrupted me.
“Dong! Dong!” It was Splash Zone.
The three strippers remained on the driveway of the Lady Dominators. The garage door hadn’t opened, but Dong was on his hands and knees with a health bar. Bucket Boy was over him, giving him a potion.
What now?I rushed up.
Dong moved to a sitting position in the driveway, looking pale. I examined him, but there was nothing that indicated what had hurt him.
“I do not feel so well,” Dong said. “Corky!” he called, reaching for the garage door. “Do you hear me!”
“Go away, you freak!” came a shout from inside the garage. That was Genesis.
“Yeah, he says he hates you now,” came Rapture. This was followed by peals of laughter.
“I can’t tell what’s wrong,” Bucket Boy said. “We need Imani. MyTriagespell is only level 5, and it says his ailment is hidden.”
“They did it,” Splash Zone said, glaring at the closed garage door. “We can’t fight back because we’re standing in a safe zone, but they ain’t.”
Donut came rushing up. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?”
“Let’s get him back to our garage,” I said, picking the old stripper up.
“But he’s right inside,” Dong said. Bucket Boy had given him a Fine Healing potion, and it was keeping his health stable, but there was clearly something wrong. “Do you think he hasn’t forgiven me? Do you think that’s it? Do you think he truly hates me?”
“Come on,” I said.
From inside the closed garage door, I heard another, faint shout. This was followed by a distinctive slap and Rapture shouting, “Shut up!”
Quest Complete! I have dreamed thee too long.
Okay, okay, technically you were supposed to “reunite” them. This is close enough. We’ll say it’s complete.
Reward:No reward yet. That was only part one. Be patient.
. . .
New Quest! Half a prayer, half a song.
Part two of two.
Dong Quixote and his best friend in the world, Corcunda, are now aware that the other still lives, despite terrible forces—looking at you, Carl—trying to keep them apart.
But now there’s a serious conundrum. The Corky half of Corcunda is on another team. Before we’re done here on the tenth floor, he’s going to be dead. Or you, Carl and Donut, will be dead. I know that little brain of yours is trying to figure out ways to fix things like we did at the end of the eighth floor, but to quote a guy more mentally ill than even you, you gotta be realistic about these things.
Luckily there’s a solution when it comes to our third-favorite stripper and his lover. (And yes, they’re lovers. I don’t know why we’ve all been collectivelypussyfooting around it. It’s almost like you’re afraid people are going to get mad if you say it out loud, and it’s only okay if we imply it. Get over it. Corky and Dong used to fuck like the gayest gays who ever gayed. You wouldn’t believe their chemistry onstage.)
It’s perfectly normal as long as you don’t think too hard about what needs to happen for a man and a half-mantaur in a body-containment suit to actually do the deed. Stuff... spills if they’re not careful.
Corcunda, a long time ago, was hit with a spell calledSplit Personality. Both halves were put into gimp suits in time.
Both halves have the same memories up until the time of the split. You’d think that would result in two very similar personalities, but it’s kinda interesting how quickly people change once they’re split off. It’s a truly fascinating study on nature versus nurture.
ANYWAY, Corcunda exists in two halves. Before the split, the mantaur had a pair of dreams. He wanted to be a dancer, and he wanted to be a singer. One half remained at the club and continued to dance. That’s the half that became quite close to Dong.
The other half, called “Porky,” has a strong dislike for Dong. The person, not the appendage. He has moved on to a position where he can fulfill his other dream, to be a singer.