“Carl, what does that mean?” Donut asked.
“Nothing good for the mantids,” I said.
“You don’t understand what you’ve done. You will, however, understand what comes next.”
Ten seconds.
Up ahead, Sweety passed under the banner that read “Judging Stand.”
Prepotente held his microphone. Behind him, atop the stair truck, stood the giant head of the Midnight Epicure, made of black dahlias.
He wassupposedto make some sort of stinging statement about how the downtrodden would soon rise up and devour those who reveled in our suffering. And then Bianca would fly forward and burn the flowers of the giant Epicure to reveal the skull underneath while she screeched. Donut had the whole thing planned out.
Instead, Prepotente started to sing.
“Oh no,” Donut said. “He’s going off script! He’s pulling a Carl!”
Donut: JURGEN, DID YOU KNOW HE WAS GOING TO DO THIS?
Jurgen: He never tells me anything.
Sweety the tapir stopped dead in the middle of the judging area, causing us all to jerk to a stop. She started to pound her feet to a tempo I quickly realized was the powerful, nonstandard beat of the song.
Pony was singing “In the Air Tonight” by Phil Collins. It was the song he had never gotten to sing at the bar. There was no other accompaniment other than the tapir’s feet.
Not only was he singing it, but he was singing it well. I was absolutely floored. It was strong, it was steady, and it was goddamned beautiful.
Elle: Holy shit, guys. How does that voice come out of him?
Florin: And how did he train his mount to do that?
Imani: It’s stunning. Who knew? Didn’t he sing at the bar before? Was it this good?
Florin: We all left before his name was called.
“Carl, he’s ruining everything! This song is about getting a divorce! It doesn’t even make sense!”
“I wouldn’t be so sure, Donut,” I said, listening to the lyrics. “I think it’s oddly appropriate.”
Donut scoffed. “Metaphor can only go so far.”
“Don’t worry. This next part isn’t nearly as subtle.”
As he sang, I examined the group of people in the stands. Unlike everyone else, these folks did have dots. Their descriptions, however, didn’t give specifics.
Stand-In. Someone brought to the arena by audience vote. Most are in the arena like I said they’d be, but there’s too many to fit. So I brought some out here. It doesn’t matter who they are. They’re all the same in the end.
I took a breath. Behind us, the giant triangle made of magenta and white dahlias stood ready.
Carl: Florin, let’s do it. Wait until Pony is done, and I’ll give my speech.
Florin: Gotcha.
Sweety started to move as the song came to an end.
Prepotente: Your turn, Carl.
Carl: That was amazing, buddy.