The thing would look absolutely ridiculous on Mongo’s head, but that Eternal Protector benefit was worth it. I examined the second item.
Enchanted headband. The Wrap of Sekhmet’s Compassion.
This item may only be equipped by a pet.
Eternal Protector of Health. Pet will become temporarily invulnerable and will gain the Heal Party Member skill if it is within three meters of its owner and its owner’s health is below 10%. Invulnerability will last 60 seconds and can only trigger once per day.
Bringer of Resurrection. Fatal bites from this pet have a 75% chance to cast a level 10Raise Bootlickeron the corpse.
“Holy hell,” I said, “these are fantastic.”
“How come I didn’t get no hat?” Bigs asked.
“You’re not a pet,” I said. “You’re technically a mercenary.”
“Actually,” Mordecai said, “I suspect if we make it to the eleventh floor, Donut’s Former Child Actor class might come with mercenary accessories, too.”
Donut kept going through her achievements. She received two celestial boxes from herWar Crimespell. One was a celestial slap-chop box and the other was a celestial godslayerbox. She also had a separate Lorena Bobbitt box, but that was just a legendary one.
“Most of my achievements were quite rude,” she said. “I received several achievements for leveling up, including one for getting to a hundred, but it said my accomplishment was reward enough! I have forty boxes, but almost all are just Bronze Adventurer Boxes. I did get one more legendary box, though, for winning Faction Wars. That achievement was rude, too. It’s called a default winner box.”
“Open them now, and then I’ll do mine,” I said. “I need to work out how we’re going to deal with engineering you a driving system, but we also need to conserve our blood bar time. I might drag the engineering table into the garage once we’re sure we can keep the garage secure. Imani and Elle are already out there in the town.”
I was putting off opening my own boxes and achievements. I didn’t know if I’d get a celestial or not, but I did know that fan box was waiting for me, and I knew part of what was in it already.
Donut already had her boxes running. It was a line of them reaching all the way to the back of the room. She was absolutely quivering with excitement. She still had the Mongo-hat thing out and on the table, and I knew she just wanted to get back out into the garage to put it on him.
The default winner box took on the shape of the funnel of Larracos spinning. The legendary Bobbitt box came in the form of a giant 7-Eleven hot dog bag for some reason. The slap-chop box was a quivering golden blanket that sparkled as it fluttered through the room like a magic carpet. The final one, the celestial godslayer box, was just a cloud of black smoke.
“Did you see what Justice did?” Rosetta asked.
“I did, but I don’t understand it.”
“Nobody knows, I don’t think,” Rosetta said. “This floor it might not matter so much, but maybe.” She lowered her head. “It’s a shame. Justice and Tipid were such good friends, but Tipid doesn’t even remember him. Maybe it’s for the better.”
Donut continued to go through her boxes. She was mostly receiving piles of crappy clothes and different types of healing scrolls. But then she started receiving something new. A green scroll that clanked heavily to the table, as if it were made of metal.
“Emergency Gremlin?”she asked, scoffing after the new scroll appeared. The next several boxes contained only that, and suddenly she had like twenty of them. “Why do I need so many emergency gremlins?”
“It’s a summoning scroll, like with Bautista’s toys,” Mordecai said. “They can fix your vehicle if it breaks down mid-race. This kind can also fix biological mounts.”
Donut hissed again as more of the scrolls appeared.
Finally, we got to the good stuff.
Her default winner box contained a spell book that quickly disappeared.
I wasn’t quite sure what the exact achievement was for the Lorena Bobbitt box, but it clearly involved something with Meatus. Though she got a separate box for killing him as well. The 7-Eleven wrapper dripped imaginary blood as the magical bag peeled back to reveal a quiver with a handful of glittering crossbow bolts.
“They’re so sparkly!” Donut said.
There were about ten of them. I snatched one up before they disappeared.
The celestial slap-chop box started dancing around the room as I examined the bolt.
Enchanted crossbow bolt. The Danforth.
This bolt does no physical damage. However, anyone hit with it will be anchored in place for (two seconds × your Crossbow skill level). More specifically, the area of their body that is hit with the bolt will be anchored in place. If they happen to be moving at the time, the physics involved might get a little... messy.