Also, the guy who will tea-bag you.
This is an Enforcer for the .
You may not further examine soldiers of until .
Huh,I thought. I assumed this had to do with whatever weirdness Hamed had going on in the Cosmic Lounge. Either way, this dude was a much higher level than I was anticipating. Across the way, the other dealers were of similar levels and physical build.
CARL: Donut, do you see that weird description? Take a Size Up. If anyone else has some sort of examination skills, let me know.
Donut: IT SAYS HE’S PROTECTED FROM THE EXAMINATION! ALSO, I CHANGED THE SPELLING OF YOUR NAME BACK TO NORMAL.
CARL: Weird. Okay.
“Oi,” Mitch said, looking at me. “No pets in the casino.”
I growled at him.
“He’s my service doggy,” Samantha said.
Mitch regarded me, then shrugged. “Aight, then. Y’all ready to do some gamblin’? Ten thousand gold a spin!”
“Wait,” Louis asked, examining the twenty-four-spot wheel. “Does ‘tea-bag’ mean what I think it means?”
“What does ‘tea-bag’ mean?” Samantha asked.
“It’s, uh, like a domination thing.”
“Ohhh, sexy,” Samantha said. “I’m going to tea-bag you, Louis.” She blew into his gills.
“Stop,” he said, pushing at her. “Don’t you understand? I’m leaving. You’re never going to see me again.”
“Wait,” Samantha said, turning. “What do you mean?”
Mitch grinned and gave his wheel a little spin. The reward spots were much the same as the last time with only a few changes. There were multiple negative options on the wheel. I knew the more one bet, the fewer negative options there would be. There was still a two-spot “Nothing” space on the wheel just like last time. But like Pontiff noted, it was now in quotes. This was in addition to the newly added Dirty Tea Bag, along with some really unfortunate ones, such as “All your limbs turn to spaghetti for five minutes.” My personal favorite, “Vomit blood for ten minutes straight,” remained on the wheel.
I wondered about that Nothing spot. Surely Splash Zone wouldn’t have missed it. He had been specifically looking for it. Bucket Boy had been there. He was now back in our garage, the sole remaining member of the group of strippers. He’d insisted it wasn’t there the first time. That made me nervous because there was no clean explanation for it.
Not unless they had been deliberately hiding it before. But if they had, why was it there now?
“What happened to Tito?” Donut demanded.
“Dontchu worry about Tito,” Mitch said. “And if you want to learn what the Dirty Tea Bag is, you gotta drop some coins and find out.”
Behind us, the roulette wheel was in full swing, just like usual. The NPCs playing the game happily cheered as if they hadn’t a worry in the world. A line of slot machines jingled merrily past that.
“I have a better question,” I said. “What happened to our friend Pontiff?”
Mitch smiled big, revealing a mouth full of white teeth. I remembered Tito, the previous croupier, had only had a few straight teeth in his whole mouth. From Imani’s hand, Jacobus the starfish let out a squirt of water.
“Oi, you’re talkative for a service animal. You know Pontiff? You just missed him.” Mitch leaned in. “He gave me a thousand gold tip just to turn the wheel to the Nothing spot and let him jump in. Weird as balls, that. But the powers that be didn’t stop ’im, so whatchu gonna do?”
“Where does the Nothing go if the Nothing is broken?” I asked.
Mitch shrugged, eyes going glassy. “Beats me. That’s why we got quotes on it. All I knows is, it ain’t here. You go in the hole, and you’re gone. You want to gamble or not?”
If we could do this without violence, I was going to seize the opportunity. We only had three hours left before the end of the race, and who knew what was happening with the bugs? We had to get back there. “If I give you a thousand gold, will you do the same for us? Will you allow some of my friends to jump in?”
Mitch contemplated.