Prepotente: The message warned that we would be shrunken down. I, too, am inside a duct.
Florin: We’re in what appears to be a sewer pipe of some sort. It isverytight in here. We’re lined up one by one.
Louis: It’s just like inAnt-Man!
Prepotente: The real question is how physics will act. Will we react like we’re small, or is everything going to act like it’s very big? My mass feels like normal, so I suspect the latter. So be careful with falls.
Louis: I think we’re like the size of a lego.
Prepotente: The width of a standard LEGO®brick is 15.8 millimeters. I would guess we’re slightly larger, but that’s a very good estimate.
Louis: How did you type the registered-mark thing?
Donut: AND WHY?
Elle: I think we’re inside of a goddamned waterless shitter lined up like turds. We can kinda see the room above us. Whoever lives here really likes pink. We gotta get out of here straight from the get-go.
Prepotente: I am also in a very pink place.
Donut: OUR ROOM DOESN’T LOOK PINK FROM HERE, BUT IT’S HARD TO TELL.
Prepotente: If this is all heats at once, it’s likely we will be in multiple apartments.
There was a flash, and a small holographic figure appeared on the dash, sitting with her legs dangling over the edge. The tiny hologram was a familiar human woman wearing a pantsuit with large red glasses. When she spoke, the words still appeared like a system notification.
This was Dr. Metcalf. They’d made her look just like Bea’s therapist. The resemblance was eerie, all the way down to the red glasses.
New details are now available. We’re on the seventh floor of the L’Engle Building, apartment 712. The finish line is the lobby. There are no designated tracks. There are a few paths to the next floor down. The fastest appears to be the elevator shaft, but the elevator says it’s out of order and stuck between the fifth and six floors. There’re also the stairwell, the sewer pipes, and a lot of paths inside the walls.
“What about mobs?” I asked the hologram, who disappeared and then reappeared on my shoulder.
Your freezer is running too cold. Also, I don’t have any information on any mobs or potential quests. The new diagnostics and software to run the holograms actually make my processing slower than before.
“I don’t like the way she’s looking at me,” Dorota said, tightening the straps around Donut.
Our fan-voted upgrade was a GPS “improvement.” But it was mostly an aesthetic one. The unit was not upgraded in any real way other than the addition of the hologram and the ability for the unit to interface with diagnostic reports on various “nonessential” systems of the truck, such as the kitchen and air-conditioning. It was a complete waste of a prize.
Donut: CARL, THAT’S HER! I KNEW IT! I’D RECOGNIZE THOSE GLASSES ANYWHERE. IT REALLY IS MISS BEATRICE’S THERAPIST!
Carl: How do you even know what she looks like?
Donut: MISS BEATRICE BROUGHT ME TO A SESSION ONCE SO THEY COULD PUT ME IN A CLEANSING CRYSTAL CIRCLE. IT WAS BEFORE THE PUSSY WILLOW CAT CLUB REGIONAL QUALIFIER IN PORTLAND.
Carl: What? She took you to her therapist’s office? Bea never told me that.
Donut: SHE USED YOUR CREDIT CARD TO PAY THE EXTRA CHAKRA FEE. AND THE CRYSTAL CLEANSING RITUAL FEE. IT WAS LIKE $800. REALLY, CARL. YOU SHOULD’VE PAID BETTER ATTENTION TO YOUR FINANCES. AND ME. I SMELLED LIKE FRANKINCENSE FOR A MONTH AFTERWARD, AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE.
Carl: That is absolutely not true. I would’ve noticed an $800 charge to Bea’s therapist on my... You know what? It doesn’t matter. Nothing has changed other than some damage-control monitoring or something. It’s just an aesthetic thing, not a real upgrade.
The hologram turned to a giant human-sized head, Samantha-style, floating over the dash. We all jumped. Pontiff let out a surprised grunt, and blue-skinned Nester muttered, “What the hells?”
I see your eyes flashing. You’re talking about me, aren’t you? I can talk about you, too. How’d you like that?
“Do not worry, Princess,” Dorota said. “I’ll protect you from the obviously senile—” Dorota’s voice abruptly cut off. The straps around Donut loosened.
“Hey!” Donut said. “What happened? Dorota is broken!”
Dr. Metcalf disappeared and reappeared, back to the small hologram.