“I agree,” Donut replied. She let out a long sigh. “This isn’t the cleanest establishment for a concert, but I suppose it’ll have to do. I know I’ll be able to hit the right key, but Mordecai made a few special potions, compounded together, for us to make sure Carl and I are in proper sync. A shame, really, that it won’t be a pure performance. It’s not as bad as lip-synching, of course, but what’re you going to do?”
I felt strangely nervous. I knew the potion would work, and that I’d be able to sing, but I still felt... weird about it. The compounding was something new that he’d been working on, and it was a way to get around potion cooldowns when we needed to take several at once.
I’d never sung in my life, except when I was hammered at a bar with a bunch of other coasties. And that was years ago.
As it turned out, if we did a duet with one of the guild-entrance songs, we both had performance bars, and it was possible for only one of us to succeed.
This particular song wasn’t technically a duet in the traditional sense, but it was listed as having two singers in the book, and that’s what really mattered.
I would be taking the lead. We did it this way because Donut only had a few lines, meaning the chances that she would be successful were much higher, even though we’d picked a songthat was pretty hard to sing. Hopefully, I’d be able to get in, too, but if not, I was confident in Donut’s ability to charm Porky out of the guild.
In addition to the potion, Donut would be using her headset with the Auto-Tune turned to the max. The double microphones were unnecessary, but there was no way around it. And I had to use a scroll to make certain I was physically able to hit the proper notes. The scroll was calledGelded Choirboy. Even if I could sing, this song wasn’t in a register my deeper voice could normally hit. We weren’t taking any chances.
Mordecai insisted the name of the spell wasn’t literal.
The scroll would make my voice a little squeaky, so I was going to wait until the last possible second to read it. The singing potion would last a long while, so I took it now. I felt the warmth spread through me.
You’ve been Honeyed! You are able to control your singing much better now.
You’ve been Yo-Yo Ma’d! You have perfect pitch! You will be able to determine a note just by hearing it!
You’ve been Dio’d! You can hold your voice for much longer!
Donut zapped Mongo out into the room. The large dinosaur screeched in surprise and started waving his wings. Several patrons cried out and jumped back.
“What the hell, Donut?” I asked. “Why isn’t he in the garage guarding Hedy?”
“Jamal is in there with some of the slugs. She’ll be fine. I don’t want Mongo to miss Uncle Carl’s stage debut! He would never forgive me! Isn’t that right, Mongo? Aren’t you excited?”
Mongo let out an excited screech and waved his wings some more.
I met eyes with Imani, and she smiled, genuinely smiled, at me.
“I don’t know why you’re so set on completing this quest, but I ain’t gonna lie, Carl. I’ve been looking forward to this moment for a long time.”
I grinned back at her. I wished I could tell her how important this truly was. Instead, I just said, “I hope you like Norwegian music.”
“Wait, what are you going to sing?”
The DJ, who’d been on the floor yelling at Dwight—who still hadn’t moved—returned to his booth and tapped his microphone.
“Singing ‘Take on Me’ by A-ha, it’s Princess Donut and Carl! Get on up here, you two.”
Donut hopped up and down. “It’s time! It’s time!” She raised the volume on her headset. “Okay, everyone! I want you to put your hands together. This will be Carl’s first time singing ever! So let’s give him some encouragement!”
The small crowd started to roar.
“A-ha?” Imani asked, raising an eyebrow.
“There were only a few two-singer songs on the list,” I said. “If it doesn’t work, we have a few backup songs planned. The good thing is, we can keep trying until we get in.”
“Elle is gonna be pissed she missed this.” She turned and raised her hand, motioning at Chris, Florin, Bautista, Britney, and Jurgen, who’d all just entered. They started moving toward the back.
The bar, which had been half-full until this moment, was suddenly more packed than I’d ever seen it.
I saw Dong Quixote in the entrance looking at me. He gave me a sheepish smile. He started walking toward us, his giant sock over his shoulder like Santa’s bag. Bucket Boy rushed in and grabbed him by the shoulder.
“Hurry up, Carl!” Donut said, bounding toward the stage. “No, Mongo. You stay back here. You can stand on the table and watch. Mommy will be right back.”