He’s not clenching his jaw. That’s the thing. He’s not raising his voice or clenching his jaw or any of the things the Caleb I knew would have done when he was overwhelmed.
He’s just standing there in that awful, controlled stillness, looking at me like I’m a problem he’s already solved and filed away.
“I don’t know,” I admit, which is the first honest thing I’ve said since I got here. “I don’t know what I expected.”
Again I catch the slightest shift in his expression.
“You look the same,” he says quietly. And then, as if it slipped through a crack in the wall: “Exactlythe same. I mean, apart from the tats. They’re a good look on you.”
The air between us changes.
It’s so subtle that if I weren’t attuned to every single molecular shift happening on this sidewalk, I might miss it.
But I feel it in my sternum—this low, resonant pull. Like the moment right before a storm when the atmosphere is thick with electricity.
Don’t.I tell myself sharply.You came here for closure. That’s it.
Closure.
“I should have tried harder to say goodbye,” I say. Because I need to say something, anything, to get us back onto solid ground. “I know Helen didn’t want to see me after everything I dragged Silas into, which I totally understand. But after everything, I should’ve at least found a way to leave a note—or call… orsomething.”
It sounds lame even as I hear the words tumble out of my mouth.
“It all just happened so fast.” My voice trails off, familiar shame washing over me.
I watch Caleb’s face change, but it’s not the disappointment or anger I’m bracing for.
He’s just gone so very still. There’s the faintest tightening around his eyes.
And silence. Such awful, heavy silence.
He’s staring at me. Notatme, exactly. More like through me. Kinda like Bruiser when he’s doing math in his head.
“But youdidleave a note,” he says finally, brow furrowing.
Now I’m the one who goes still.
“What? No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did.”
I shake my head no. “I got back from jail, and Z was waiting with my bags packed in the driveway. Helen didn’t want me in the house. I mean, later I totally realized it might just be the chemo messing with her emotions. But I’d just ruined everything for you and Dad and?—”
Caleb’s face contorts, and suddenly he steps back, eyes going wide.
“That son of a bitch!” he shouts.
I jump at the outburst, especially since he’s been nothing but controlled the entire conversation. “What the hell?”
His furious eyes drop back to me.
“Therewasa note. In your handwriting.” The control in his voice is fraying now. Not breaking butfraying, like rope under load.
“The note said you were sorry,” he says through his teeth. “That you needed to be with someone who fit your life better than me, and that you’d decidedI’dbe better off withoutyou.”
My heart starts beating too fast.
Then too slow.