More physical evidence.
“I need—” I swallow hard. “I need to shower.”
“It’ll have to be quick. I can help?—”
“Alone.”
Z nods, backing toward the door, expression a little wounded. “Sure, babe. I guess we should be safe before anyone really comes checking rooms for maybe another half hour.”
The door clicks shut behind him, and I’m finally, blessedly alone.
I turn the lock, only then dropping the comforter to the floor. I flip the water on as hot as it will go in the shower and step under the spray.
The water is scalding, but I don’t adjust it.
Let it burn.
I deserve it.
I grab the tiny bar of motel soap and start scrubbing. My arms. My chest. My stomach. Between my legs.
I’m not even sore. Which means Z was telling the truth about how much I wanted it. Shame hits sharper than the sting of hot water. I must’ve been incredibly wet if we… and I’m not even feeling it the next day.
I scrub until my skin turns pink. Then red.
If I can just scrub hard enough, maybe I can erase last night. Erase the last three days. Erase the moment I made the worst decision of my life.
I understand why Helen didn’t want to see me after I got Silas, her beloved husband, thrown in prison.
It’ll be Dad’s third strike.
It was one of the reasons I wouldn’t let myself get close to him after he got out of prison last time. I knew if he got into trouble again, he’d go away for more than just a few years this time. Texas law is unforgiving when it comes to career criminals.
But Silasdidn’t do itthis time.
He didn’t have anything to do with the pounds of marijuana they found in my locker. I didn’t either, for that matter.
I was framed.
But Dad still took the fall.
For me.
The one time in my life the bastard decides to show up for me, and all I want is for him to take it back. Because the truth is—he’d been showing up for me all last year.
Ever since he realized what was happening at Darlene’s with her latest boyfriend, and rode in to rescue me by dragging me back to Dallas to live with him and his new perfect family. His amazing wife, Helen.
And his stepson…Caleb.
Then I came in like a wrecking ball to the entire thing.
And no amount of soap or scalding water can wash away what I’ve done.
I slide down the shower wall, pulling my knees to my chest as the water pounds down on me. For just one moment, I let myself disappear back into the dream.
Caleb’s arms around me. The whispered “I love you.”The moment right before I was about to say it back—those three words I’d been too scared to give him while it still mattered.
I love you.