More than that, I’ve gotten to become part of the artistic vibe here in Austin, which has been really special. Beyond Ximena and the cousins, I’ve gotten to know the tattoo community at large, and even helped paint a mural near Zilker Park last year.
I’m learning family can be more than just where you come from. I’m determined to teach Bruiser the same, so he never has to feel alone and out of options the way Z and I did. Those first few weeks when we didn’t have anywhere to sleep before Dani took us in still keeps me up some nights.
I know now what a fluke her kindness was and how much worse shit could’ve gone for us. Plenty of street kids get lost in the seedier alleys of Sixth Street and never make it out.
Especially pregnant, even if I didn’t know it at the time, and being so desperate… I mean, I thought things were bad at Darlene’s house, but at least then I had a roof over my head. I didn’t really know the meaning of desperation yet.
Outside on the little patio beside the shop that’s shared between us and Rosalita’s—the most authentic Mexican food you can get outside of Mexico City, or so Elio and Lorenzo claim—the band starts up. Toss a rock and you’ll hit a musician here in Austin, and Ximena and her cousins are all talented in one way or another.
The recognizable opening bass lines ofSeven Nation Armymake me smile.
Elio opens every day at his shop with the song. Sometimes I keep the tradition, and even hearing the thumping bass melody makes me itch for a tattoo machine even though my forearm aches from inking all day. But at least Bruiser’s bopping his head along to the music, momentarily distracted from watching for his dad.
“Speech!” Reina calls out, raising her drink.
“Speech, speech!” the others join in, and I feel my cheeks heat up.
I don’t do this. I don’t do being the center of attention in a good way.
Usually when people are looking at me, it’s because I fucked something up or because I’m that crazy bitch from deep in the East Texas woods who showed up pregnant and homeless and somehow clawed her way into having something that looks like a real Goddamn life.
But Ximena’s already pushing me toward the center of the little crowd gathered on the patio, and Bruiser’s watching me with those big eyes, and fuck it—why not?
Eight years ago I was sleeping in Dani’s spare bedroom wondering if I’d ever stop feeling like the ground was gonna give out under me any second.
“Alright, alright,” I say, holding up my hands. “I’m not good at this shit, so bear with me.”
A few laughs ripple through the group.
“Three years ago, I had no fucking clue what I was doing. Still don’t, most days.” More laughter. “But you assholes—” I gesture at Reina, Gael, Ramiro “—you took a chance on working with a twenty-two-year-old who’d barely started inking professionally. And definitely shouldn’t have been given a loan for this shop.”
Everybody laughs because they know it’s fucking true. The loan officer was staring at my tits for most of the loan interview as he ran my credit history and I could see that even he was surprised I had five years of good credit. It was only because Helen convinced me to open a gas card and pay it off every month—even though she was the one making the payments at first. She said it would pay off in a circumstance exactly like this.
I grin out at my new family even as there’s a sting of old pain thinking about Helen. But God knows I’ve tried my best to learn from past mistakes and to do right by the people I love now.
“You could’ve gone anywhere or waited for Elio to have openings. But you came here, to this shitty little space with the fucked-up AC that still doesn’t work right?—”
“Preach!” Gael calls out.
“—and you made it not shitty. You made itours.”
The words catch in my throat a little. I clear it and keep going.
“And Ximena, you magnificent pain in my ass, you kept this place running when I was so deep in my own head about designs and bookings that I would’ve let the whole business side fall apart. You’ve got my back even when I’m being Scorpio as hell, which is basically always.”
Ximena blows me a kiss. “Damn right.”
I look over at Elio and Lorenzo. “And you two... you gave a scared kid a chance when nobody else would. You taught me everything. You didn’t have to do that. Most people wouldn’t have.”
Elio raises his bottle toward me. “We just gave you the tools. You built this.”
Something hot and uncomfortable tightens in my chest. The good kind of uncomfortable. The kind that makes my eyes sting.
“To Harper!” someone shouts.
“To the best fucking boss in Austin!” Ramiro adds. There’s a round of cheers and raised drinks.
“Hey, what about me?” Elio grandstands, only making everybody laugh more.