We keep a security detail with us at all times, just in case, and Isaak’s working as a liaison with the DEA to keep channels open. All the while Domhnall and his wife do their own investigation off the books since this isn’t the first time they’ve dealt with international criminals because of the shit Anna’s father was involved with.
Still, it’s stressful, and both Harper and I miss Silas, especially as big life markers like today pass with him still not here. His brother stole enough of his life, and Harper and I will fight like hell to get the rest of it back for him.
Around noon, Bruiser gets restless.
“I’m bored,” he announces.
“Want to get ready?” I ask.
“It’s still too early.”
“Want to practice walking down the aisle?”
He considers this. “Okay.”
We go to the backyard. The chairs are already set up with an arch covered in flowers at the start of the aisle. String lights hang everywhere.
“You walk from there,” I point, “to here. Then you stand beside me.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“That’s easy.” He kicks at the grass.
“Then why do you look nervous?”
He shrugs, digging the toe of his shoe in. “What if I drop the rings?”
“Then we pick them up.”
“What if I trip?”
“Then you get back up. Bruiser, look at me.”
He does, and it slays me like it always does. Trust with him is as hard to come by as it always was with his mother. And just as precious when it’s earned, bit by bit.
“There’s nothing you can do today that will mess this up. Okay, bud? Nothing. You just showing up is everything.”
He nods slowly. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
We practice his walk three times. He takes it very seriously, measuring his steps, his face super solemn with his fingers clutching the ring pillow.
“How was that?” he asks.
“Perfect.”
“Really?” he frowns distrustfully.
“Really.”
The frown finally relaxes into a grin. “Good. Can I go play now?”
“Yeah, buddy. Go play.”
At one o’clock, I shower. Then I stand in front of the mirror in my towel, staring at my reflection.