Now it feels like something I’ve stepped into.
He nudges the plate toward me. “Try it.” His hand stays on the edge of the plate, his fingers resting there just long enough that I notice them before I look away. Before I can think too much about why I noticed them at all in the first place.
I hesitate.
It’s small, but it feels bigger than it should, like the moment stretches just slightly.
Like he sees it.
So I take the bread.
Because it’s easier than sitting in that pause and letting it turn into something I can’t name.
Our fingers don’t touch.
They could have.
But they don’t.
And somehow that feels more deliberate than if they had. Like the absence of contact is something he chose.
Something he’s controlling.
The food is good. Really good.
Warm, rich, simple in a way that feels grounding, and the first bite hits harder than I expect. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until my body reacts before I can control it, before I cankeep everything held in the same tight place I’ve been keeping it.
My shoulders drop.
My breath shifts.
Something in me loosens.
“There you go,” he says.
I glance up. “What?”
“You’ve been tense since you sat down.”
His gaze doesn’t move away from me, and now that I’m aware of it, I can feel it more clearly—not just that he’s looking at me, but that he’s paying attention in a way that isn’t casual.
My hand subconsciously goes to my scalp, and I force myself to lower it to the table. “I have not.” The denial comes out automatically, but it feels thinner now, less convincing.
He gives a short, quiet laugh. “Okay.” But he doesn’t believe me.
And the worst part is, I know he shouldn’t.
“You okay?” he asks.
It sounds like a normal question, but he doesn’t move on after he says it. He stays there, watching me, waiting in a way that feels more intentional now that I’ve noticed it.
“Yeah,” I say. “Just have a lot going on.”
His gaze shifts slightly, not enough to be obvious, but enough that I feel it move—taking me in, not just my face but everything else I haven’t consciously adjusted.
I become aware of it in a way that makes my skin feel a little warmer.
He nods. “Yeah. I figured.” A pause. “You needed to get out.”