I can’t concentrate on anything else.
And you’re not good for me all the time, either. You’re a distraction. I used to be focused. I used to be—solitary.
You’ve changed my fucking DNA. Don’t you see that?
When I don’t have you near me, I crave you. My body shuts down. It doesn’t work right.
I need you, the way your being courses through me just by being in your vicinity.
You bring me to my knees.
But I don’t care, because without you there’s no fucking point anymore.
I used to think it was getting revenge on the evil man who raised me. But now he’s rotting in a cell inside an insane asylum and he can’t hurt me anymore.
I have you now, and no shortage of people who’ve hurt you in the worst ways. None of which you’ve done a fucking thing to deserve!
I would gladly hurt anyone who so much as glanced in your direction in the wrong way.
I would gladly spend the rest of my life breathing for you, just to know you’re okay. Protecting you. Bringing you pleasure. Making your life happy and complete and the best life that you could ever possibly have.
You are killing me, day by day, drawing my life source out of me.
You are my Kryptonite, Ivy. An insidious toxin that has merged with mine.
We are two dark souls destined to be together.
You feed on me, and I willingly let you take, take, take.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I would die for you, Ivy. Don’t you see how much I love you? Don’t you see how much I need you to go on? For life to have any meaning?
Because as much as I’d die to keep you living… if you weren’t here, if you weren’t part of my life, I would literally fade away.
I will follow you into the beyond. I will happily let you haunt me in this world and into the next.
We are two souls, on a mission.
You are my venom, and there is no antidote. And I don’t want one.
I don’twantto be cured of you.
I want to be riddled with you, incapacitated by you.
And in the same way, I want to consume you, too.”
CHAPTER 64
IVY
Astrange stillness settles between us. It feels like something has already resolved beneath the surface—like a decision has already been made, and all that’s left is for me to acknowledge it.
I’m not circling the situation anymore, not trying to break it apart into something manageable or less dangerous. The truth sits fully formed in my mind now, sharp and unavoidable, and for once I don’t try to soften it.
When I look at him, he’s already watching. His expression is steady—like I’ve finally caught up to something he understood long before I did.
“This isn’t love.” My voice comes out more controlled than I expect, and the lack of hesitation surprises me almost as much as his response.