But I don’t judge her. And it’s my opinion that matters.
It really wasn’t hard to do, but I didn’t appreciate the emotional impact it would have on her. I underestimated the level of savagery of keyboard warriors who get a hint of a scandal and blow it up into something grotesque.
They’ll get theirs. I’ll make sure of it. I already am.
I try to shield her from the worst of it, screening her messages as they come in, surreptitiously deleting them before she gets the chance to see them. But they come thick and fast, and sometimes one slips through.
I see the look on her face. She’s crushed, and that just about destroys me.
It’s the last way I wanted her to feel.
I just wanted to make sure she was safe in her job. To build her a cocoon where she could thrive while I watched over her.
And in doing so, I exposed her to the brutality of the internet. And invited nasty people to tear apart a core part of her identity.
Fuck me.
In her shoes, I’d hate me too.
I’d wonder if anything about us was ever real.
But I’ll show her. I’ll show her just how honest I am.
How she’s the one constant in my life, the only thing I really care about. She’s the only one I dream about, the only person I’ve ever dreamed of spending my life with. Hell, after my own experience I’ve never wanted a family. But with her, I’d build a fucking household if it made her happy.
She will know the extent of how I feel about her. My desire to consume her. To absorb every part of her into me. Until there’s no trace—no cell—of Ivy, that’s untouched by me. Until she can’t breathe without knowing I’m near.
And it’s not just my desire to control her—although that certainly exists. I wouldn’t do this for just anyone. Everybody else pales in comparison to her. They’re fireflies. Disposable.
Ivy is the fucking sun—burning hot, fierce, brilliant.
Eternal. Part of everything. Part of me.
I know that no one else comes close.
Could never.
And so I’ll win her back. I’ll earn her trust.
I’ll show her just how much she means to me.
She’ll see the intentions behind my actions. They might have been dark, but they were well-placed. Designed to shape her life for both of us.
And I’ll give her the universe, in life and beyond—anything she wants—when she agrees to be completely mine.
CHAPTER 62
IVY
Idon’t ask directly. Instead, I try to keep it both careful and measured in the hopes that if I keep it light enough, it won’t turn into something heavier.
“So,” I say, not looking at him, tracing my finger along the edge of the counter, “when did you move here?”
A normal question. Casual.
He doesn’t hesitate. “I told you. A few years ago. Right before you moved to Jewel City.”
My hand stills. That’s specific. I glance at him. “Why do you know when I moved?”