You would actually love her.
Alice:
I mean, I love her already.
I glance at my phone and see that he’s used it to text his cousin, pretending to be me.
I send the screenshot to Alice.
Timmy pretending to be me:
Your kind of a cunt… like you think my mother needs to be in a home..
Was second guessing you..
By all means fuck yourself.. take your evening and shove it up your asshole bitch…
Tell my uncle I said so…
Rahhh…
You’re bad and kind of the worst with what you’re trying
Documented… you… I love you but you honestly suck with whatever this is. You try to fast-track and befriend and do…
Alice:
“Rahhh.”
Me:
That was a weird addition.
Alice:
That was SUCH a weird addition.
That’s like talking to an actual child.
Timmy returns from the back room where he’s been ranting about me and his cousin to his parents for the last twenty minutes.
I couldn’t hear what was said, just a lot of ‘she’ this and ‘she’ that, and I’m so exhausted by him I honestly don’t care.
“Well, everyone still lovesyousomehow,” he fumes, “but they hate that cunt. But I’m still leaving you, but hopefully after my court date.”
I tell Alice.
Me:
Dude, what does that even mean?
Alice:
It means nothing.
Like those are not words.
Just when it feels like things can’t get any crazier, Timmy’s naked form runs past me. He circles the bed and then runs into the back room, closing the door behind him.