Alice:
Dude, don't go at this point unless you actually want to see Montana.
Have a staycation here at home away from his stupid ass.
Me:
And I have friends there who will probably shady meet me. Wtf is this?
I know you would totally shady meet me and I love you.
Alice:
Dude, I'd fucking meet you immediately!
And side-eye homeboy all day.
Me:
Oh yeah, but my cat is at a cat cottage and I went with a friend to Montana one year and it was so cool.
And apparently his siblings are really cool. Timmy even said his brother is going to love me.
Alice:
I'm trying to think of how I would act if you called me and told me you were my brother's girl and he treated you like this.
Me:
Yeah, you’d tell him to chop off his own dick and drown in the sea.
Just wait, girl. I’m going to live tweet you from Montana the whole time.
Alice:
Good.
But I'm genuinely trying to think what I would do. Like, I'd try to be super kind and nice to you because I was worried and keep close to you.
Keep an eye on the whole thing.
Me:
Yeah, I think it’ll probably be fine. If people are dicks, I’ll roll out of there so hard and fast. But the way his parents were like YOU ARE DRUNK to him made me think they’re onto him.
Alice:
Oh, they have to be.
Like there's no way.
That's their kid.
Me:
His dad is so cool. I can’t wait to meet him and his mom seems lovely
Alice: