I remind myself of the good moments, the softness he’s capable of. But my therapist’s words ring in my ears:Don’t mistake baseline behavior for extraordinary.
And yet, I try.Isn’t this what I wanted?
Still, I can’t ignore the growing sense that the man in front of me isn’t the one I fell for.
I want to believe in him. I want to believe in us. But deep down, I wonder if the real Timmy—the sober, unfiltered Timmy—is someone I even like.
And that thought terrifies me most of all.
CHAPTER 112
A+ ACTING
DEX
The apartment is a reflection of Margaux’s world—a place barely holding together under the weight of chaos.
Even through the screen, I can see how the neglect has festered. The centipedes, the cockroaches, the near-empty bowls for Sabre—it all mirrors the disarray in her life.
Margaux has her period, and once again it’s debilitating—but this time, she’s by herself. She can’t move, she can’t eat—all she can really do is lie prone and wish for sleep to come.
She’s barely holding on, but she’s still there, waiting out her pain so she can once again fight against the fog that’s settled over her mind and her space. That’s the thing about Margaux—even at her worst, she doesn’t quit.
And then Timmy texts her.
Timmy:
Let me come and help you.
Just let me come and love you.
It’s an enticing offer, and I hate him for how well he knows her vulnerabilities. He weaves a net of promises, knowing exactly how to catch her in a moment of desperation. I can practically hear the words as she reads them, how they would sound sweet and soft against her fractured resolve.
I’ve studied this game of his for too long. He knows when to turn on the charm and when to dial it up.
He doesn’t care about Margaux’s wellbeing. Not really.
He cares about worming his way back into her life, about controlling her again.
The cycle is exhausting to watch from the outside—I can’t imagine living it.
Her fingers hesitate over the keyboard as she replies, and I want to reach through the screen and stop her.
Don’t do it.
But I know she will. I know Margaux.
She’s drowning, and he’s throwing her a lifeline, even if it’s one tied to a rock.
I watch as she types her response:
Margaux:
Okay.
You can come back.
But you need to follow through on everything you said. 100%.