Page 208 of Beautiful Terror

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Frustrated and exhausted, I pull out my phone and message Alice:

Alice:

Babe.

You’re going to end up dead.

Me:

He ran off.

Alice:

Who cares? He’s a grown man.

Me:

I care.

Alice:

I know. But he can go cool off and come back.

Me:

I care a lot about everything and everyone and look what happens.

He went for hours.

Alice:

He’s done it before and will do it again.

Me:

And put Taco Bell on my ceiling.

He did, somehow, smear the contents of a bean burrito and Taco Supreme high up on the walls.

Alice:

Okay, that’s new.

A social worker visits my bed, her face kind but concerned.

“I’m here because you mentioned being in an abusive relationship,” she says gently.

“Oh yeah, I am,” I reply matter-of-factly.

Because at this point, what’s the point in pretending otherwise? I’m a battered woman. Although, according to Timmy, it’s always been my fault and the injuries he inflicted weren’t ‘real’ ones.

Her face grows more serious as I recount some of the incidents—the threats, the attacks, the bizarre behaviors like the chainsaws and antlers. She listens carefully, handing me a card with local resources.

She leaves, and I become agitated as Timmy sends me a barrage of texts:

Timmy:

You’re so irresponsible.