He sighs again. “Jesus, Margaux. What the fuck is your problem? Stop assuming things. Neither of those are true. But I can go hang out with them without you if I want.”
My eyes narrow. He’s really pissing me off. “Great. And I can go hang out with whoever the fuck I like without you, as well.”
His eyes are flinty slits. “No way. You’re coming with me. I’ll introduce you, it’s fine.”
Now I feel like I’m being a brat, forcing myself on his friends. But he’s an asshole for trying to ditch me, or keep the truth from me, whichever is true.
My guilt settles in, heavy and unavoidable. I suddenly feel like a jerk for even asking. Was it selfish for me to ask? Should I have just let him go? I’m a big girl. I could have sat here and watched movies. I could have walked down the street and hung out somewhere. I could have just smiled and wished him a good time, played it cool, acted like I didn’t care.
At the same time, fuck it. He came up with the plans for our night, and then he switched them up because he received an unexpected text. I feel valid for calling him out on it, empowered by making sure he included me. But now the air feels tense and awkward, and I created that.
He grabs a T-shirt and slips it on while I sit on the bed, awkward, going back and forth in my mind about whether I’ve done the right thing. He gives me a quick but distant smile. “Do I look cute?”
“Yes,” I smile back. He does. The gray and pink T-shirt looks really cute with his long brown, sun-bleached hair and gorgeous blue eyes.
“We’ll head out in a few minutes,” he says, already staring at his phone again, already somewhere else in his mind.
I’m glad he invited me, eventually, but the guilt is gnawing at me.Like I’ve done something wrong, inserting myself somewhere where I don’t quite belong.
The momentI get into Rebecca and Jetson’s car, all worries I had melt away.
They’re friendly, a fun couple, I can tell from the get-go.
Rebecca is gorgeous, a vibrant blonde Floridian who likes to have a good time and doesn’t take shit from anyone.
Jetson is tall and lanky, also a Floridian, and I can tell he’s pissed off at Rebecca for something. I don’t know what. Sometimes you can just tell when a couple has been bickering moments before you enter their orbit.
But they’re both friendly and outgoing and funny, and they offer me a hard seltzer and we all drive off together in search of whatever they’re looking for.
As we banter, I notice Timmy glowering at me, like he’s mad I’m getting along with his friends. I immediately feel self-conscious. Am I being too loud? Too annoying? But Rebecca and Jetson don’t seem to mind.
The gnawing guilt is just following me from our earlier conversation, and I realize that Timmy is probably annoyed he doesn’t get to be the center of attention, the guy who they call when they need something only he knows how to find. So I make myself quiet, I shrink myself, and I let him take center stage. These are his friends, so it gets to be the Timmy show.
Still, they seem interested in me and both of them ask me questions. Each time I answer with something that makes them laugh or continue the conversation, Timmy seems to physically pull away from me, as if he’s punishing me. The more they seem interested in what I have to say, the more he physically recoils from me.
After we get back from acquiring whatever it was they wanted, the guys go to get some drinks, leaving Rebecca and I together in my apartment.
The conversation flows. She’s really funny, and it turns out she’s a talented artist and her specialty is dark romance art. What are the fucking chances?!
She shows me through her work and I’m incredibly impressed. Each piece is exquisite, conveying the optimal mix of angst and sexiness and trauma and beauty… I’m fan-girling hard. We talk about the potential to collaborate together on some work, because her art would definitely complement my books and vice-versa. I’ve never even met someone who does dark romance art before. It’s so fucking cool! I’m suddenly guilt-free about inserting myself into their little outing, and very glad I got to meet this wonderful and talented human!
After a while, Timmy walks back in with Jetson and just stops, eyeing us.
I walk over and give Timmy a hug and a kiss. “Welcome back! We missed you guys!” I smile.
Timmy kisses me back, and drapes an arm around me, but there’s a tension in the way he holds me.
“Oh my gosh! Rebecca is an artist!” I tell him, wide-eyed with excitement. “We have so much in common! We’re thinking of combining our talents and working on a project together.” I’m gushing, so excited to share that the person he just introduced me to has something so specific in common with me.
It also feels really good to have made my first real friend here. She’s funny and smart and interesting, and it’s enriching to meet someone in this place where all I really know is Timmy.
“Well, isn’t that just great.” His smile is forced, weak, a flicker of irritation in his eyes.
We all chat for a while, enjoying our drinks and talking about life on the coast. Rebecca and Jetson head out and we agree to meet up with them at a nearby Irish bar later on.
After they leave, he’s sullen.
“What’s going on?” I ask, touching his shoulder.