Every kiss with this guy is electric. We’ve only had a few, but it’s like we know each other’s faces, each other’s bodies, each other’s souls.
Yes, it’s woo-woo and whatever… but I’ve alwayswantedsomeone who makes me feel this way when I kiss them for the first and second and infinity times. And no matter how hard I wished for it in previous relationships, I never felt…thisfeeling. This isn’t just our mouths touching, it’s some other kind of connection. Our lips and our tongues and our chests and our hips and our entire beings, melded together. And yes, my pussy twingeshardthroughout. But this is about so much more than that. I really think he's the person I've been searching for my whole life.
And he’s so playful and cheeky. Full of mischief. He makes me feel free to adventure and explore. With someone like him, we can navigate our path together as we choose, convention be damned. I’ve never felt anything like this before.
I’m so lucky. This feels perfect. And the best part is, it’s really happening. It’s not a dream. I finally branched out from my former day-to-day. I’ve barely started just living for me, and following what brings me joy. And I’ve already found a person who seems like the one!
He drops me off outside my apartment and gives me another kiss. “This was really fun, Margaux. I’m so glad we got to meet today. I’ll text you later.” I watch as he walks off, smiling and still feeling the sensation of his lips on mine.
When I get home, I look in the mirror, and my eyes are glowing blue. And I feel it. My energy is up. I know I’m meant to be here. I can’t wipe the smile off my face, and I don’t want to. What joyous tomfoolery already.
17
THANK GOODNESS FOR SEX WEDGES
The Past
Mother: When you grow up, you will be an actress or a dancer.
And you will marry a plastic surgeon who is very wealthy,
and he will give me facelifts and other cosmetic procedures for free.
Kids at school: You’re such a snob. Richie Rich girl growing up.
The Present
When I get back to my apartment, I check my mail and pick up a couple of packages.
As a hobby, I do some micro-influencing,which means I don’t have a ton of followers, but companies will send me their products and then I provide an honest review on my social media.
And, thankfully, one of the items they offered was a triangular pillow, otherwise known as a sex wedge. It made me giggle when I saw it, but the legitimate advertising around it is that it’s good for posture, and you can almost use it as a desk, or to elevate your feet. I figured that, without any furniture to start with, it might come in useful, and that’s what I picked for the month and had it delivered here, to my new apartment.
So I use that as a pillow, and I line up a small selection of my most sentimental stuffed toys—a whale, an octopus, Oscar the Grouch, and Sabre’s banana bed, and they become my bed for the evening. It’s not comfortable, but it’ll do the trick. I didn’t want to tell Timmy that this was going to be my bed, because I know he’d have invited me to stay over, and I’m not ready for that. We literally just met, and I want to spend my first night here by myself.
Truth be told, I’m also a little bit embarrassed about where I’m staying. It’s far fancier than I imagined it would be, with a really bougie lobby that looks like something off the front page of an interior design magazine, with a 24/7 concierge.
I’ve always railed against money, and I’ve had a money block for as long as I can remember, believing it was evil. I know that about myself.
My mother was just always so… obsessed with it. It was a huge source of conflict with my dad. It was her sole focus. Money makes her world go around. That and aesthetic appearance and keeping up with the Joneses.
And if there’s something I don’t want to be, it’s my mother. I want so badly not to be her that I’ve become hyper-independent. I find it hard to receive money from any man. ‘Fuck off, I can do it myself,’ is my automatic response. During my six-year relationship, I chilled on that for a while. I made more money than him, but he was generous and always paid his way and more. It was… nice! Even if it took a little bit of getting used to.
So I don’t want to make myself seem flashy or ostentatious, to Timmy or anybody else.
I really expected this place to be a little more low-key. Sure, it has nice amenities, but this screams extravagant luxury and it’s a little intimidating, a little cringe.
Before I go to sleep, I sit for a while, just looking out the window at the gorgeous city lights.
I don’t know how I got this lucky.
I wakeup to my phone dinging.
Timmy:
Hey! Get up!
I’m coming to pick you up!