Almost.
I shiver, rubbing my hands over my arms. How have I let things spiral so far out of control?
Memories of those early days with Luchenko come unbidden, when his charm and lavish gifts had blinded me to the darkness simmering underneath. He was there for me when nobody else was, provided me with things I never dreamed of.
And I was sucked in, thirsty for a life outside of the oppressive darkness. Believing that I could have more, that I somehow deserved more.
But that came with a catch that I was initially too blind to see.
By the time his true nature emerged, it was too late.
I was caught in his web, bound by threats both spoken and unspoken.
The mother of his youngest child.
As I gazed out at the city lights, an idea begins to form.
Luchenko's empire may be vast, but it's not absolute. There have to be cracks, weaknesses I can exploit.
I just need help, allies outside his sphere of influence. Someone who can shelter Yara and I, and hide us beyond his reach.
The first step will be discreetly reaching out, making contact without raising suspicion. It won't be easy or without risk.
But I have to try, for my daughter's sake. For her future.
With this silent vow made under the night sky, I gather my resolve. I will find a way to cut free of Luchenko's web. No matter what it takes.
The allyship comes from the most unexpected of places. Luchenko's wife, Marie.
When she first approaches me, I'm dubious. For a moment, I think she might even try to take my baby.
But I soon learn that Marie is fierce and doesn't appreciate being humiliated repeatedly by Luchenko. We have more in common than I think either of us realized.
I no longer want to be in Luchenko's grasp, and she doesn't want me there either. She wants me out of their lives.
And my pregnancy and Yara's birth have only expedited her need for me to be well out of the picture. As it turns out, Marie is infertile. Seeing me with her husband's baby is like salt in a deep wound.
After prolonged negotiations, they come to a stalemate.
Luchenko lets me live my life away from his grasp, raising Yara.
This solves Marie the embarrassment of having his illegitimate love child paraded around in front of the world.
She's not stupid enough to think many people won't see right through it, based on timing alone, but it seems more palatable than having this baby thrown in her face.
So we're thrown out on the streets, discarded.
I sneak us in and stay with my mother whenever I can, but the rules are strict in her assisted living accommodation, and there's a high risk that by allowing us in she could be thrown out herself, with no place to go.
Her situation is more tenuous than mine. I'm relatively young, strong and resourceful. Mother, however, is elderly, somewhat frail despite her strength of spirit, and she needs medicine that's almost impossible to access while living on the streets.
Yet, despite being tossed aside like a piece of trash, I know that Luchenko still thinks about me. Obsesses about me.
He keeps track of my whereabouts, and from time to time I notice his men trailing me. No doubt reporting back.
I know beyond a doubt that Luchenko sees Yara as his possession. And that it's only a matter of time before he decides to take back what he believes is his.
Chapter 19