Her lips parted. Her eyes dropped to my chest then dragged over my shoulders, up my neck and to my lips. "No, Nico."
She was going to ruin me without even trying.
"Then tell me all these other reasons you have in your head why you aren't thewoman for me?"
That sobered her instantly., The heat in her eyes faded, replaced with resolve and I regretted pushing., I wanted the playful version of her, the one that was peaking at me behind the shadows in her eyes. But instead of letting her out, Ajla pushed me gently away from her and sidestepped me, until she was far too fucking away from me, leaving me standing alone while she turned her back on me.
"Because I'm the kind of woman that wants eternal love, Nicolas," she said quietly. Then she faced me again.. "If I wanted a one-night stand, I could've gotten it anywhere in this city." Over my dead body. "But I want love. I want someone who could understand me, and I think you're far too young to want the same things. I want children, I want a family, and something tells me that you still have a couple of years until you're ready for that kind of commitment."
"So instead of asking or just listening to me, you have already placed me in the box with all the other assholes who couldn't give you what you wanted. That's it?"
"I—No. That's not?—"
"That's exactly it, kitten," I smirked. "But don't worry. I don't give up easily, and I have more stamina than those asswipes who have obviously fucked everything up."
A confused look passed over her face. "Nico–" God I loved the fact that she already had a nickname for me. "No, this is not an invitation to woo me or to show me you're the right man for me. You're too young, probably a wee bit too immature, and part of the mafia?—"
"I'm Capo."
"You're what?"
"Capo," I shrugged, as if I was asking her what kind of eggs she'd like for breakfast.
She looked at me, then at the ceiling. "Nicolas, my Italian is rusty so you're gonna have to explain. What the fuck is Capo?"
Ooooh.
"Ah."
I grinned.
"It means I’m the boss."
Her face drained of color, eyes widening.
“You’re the—” Her voice rose. "You're the motherfucking head of the Italian mafia?"
Judging by her screech, that had not helped my case.
7
AJLA
I couldn't sleepthe entire night, and I blamed NicolastheCapo Moretti.
And honestly the reason wasn't even because he was a Capo. Surprisingly, after my initial shock wore off, it kind of made sense. No, the reason I couldn't sleep was because he looked at me as if I was everything he's been waiting for.
But he didn't know that I was a girl who sometimes didn’t even know her own mind.
I was a girl who wanted love but was terrified of letting myself fall.
Terrified of letting anyone in, because I saw what could happen when you gave your heart to someone who didn’t deserve it. And no, my heart hadn’t been broken by a fuckboy or some boyfriend who didn't know how to cherish me. My heart hadbeen broken a long time ago, when the first man I ever loved showed me how unreliable men could be.
My heart broke when the man I called my father showed me how weak and how unstable he could be.
Maybe it was fucked up to carry that trauma all the way into my thirties, but it was still there. It was like a scab on my soul that kept ripping apart, reopening the wound every time I tried to let someone in. Every time I told myself his lack of love for his daughter wouldn't stop me from finding that love somewhere else.
I failed.