There it was, my cue. “Or maybe you didn’t so you were guaranteed a win one way or another.” I smarted back takingMark by surprise that I wasn’t just going with what he was saying for once. Something I really needed to work on.
Mark’s expression drastically changed to a dumbfounded one while his eyes shot out to the left of me. I took that as my confirmation Summer had been right after all. “It’s not what you think,” he tried to interject, but I continued on my rant.
????“Was it not enough you’ve been shamelessly flirting with me, trying to spend every ounce of time with me and putting your hands on me in ways no trainer ever should?” I paused for a breath. “Were you trying to distract me?”
“Val,” Mark finally got his footing in our conversation. “All of these extra sessions I’ve been giving you for free were cutting into my ability to take on other clients. I needed to make a little extra so I could make rent.”
I felt like he was attempting to gaslight me. “Then why didn’t you tell me you needed to either charge me for extra sessions or tell me you couldn’t train together? It’s not hard to communicate.” A look of defeat crossed his face. “And what about the flirting?”
????“Now, hold on.” Mark held his hands up. “You were flirting with me first.Youstarted it.”
????Had I?
Had I really instigated the flirting? I had a hard time believing it, but I also couldn’t say I hadn’t. James always accused me of flirting with other people when I didn’t think I was, so perhaps he had been right about one thing. It didn’t matter. I never encouraged Mark to get handsy, brushing his hand against my ass and resting it on my lower back. I should have called him out about it… Why didn’t I?
Maybe I was giving him the wrong idea, after all. “I- I’m sorry.” I felt defeated. When it was just James saying this stuff I could pass it off as him just being paranoid and jealous. Nowwith Mark saying it, too? It couldn’t have been a coincidence. Surely somewhere deep down there has to be some truth.
“Are you ready to learn some ground moves?” Mark leered and it made me feel gross. I wasn’t sure if it was because of guilt or if he just genuinely gave me the heebie jeebies. I began to wish my heart, stomach, and mind would start communicating with each other clearly so I wouldn’t run into issues like this.
I got into position on my hands and knees as Mark had instructed and we began to grapple, rolling around making sure he didn’t put me into any positions I wasn’t comfortable with. “Okay now,” Mark paused to think, “we are going to work on a full guard. I want you to lay on your back. When I get on top of you, you’re going to wrap your legs around my waist.”
????Doing as I was told felt gross after our previous conversation. I sensed I was being set up, only this time the message was repeating in my head like an emergency sign flashing rapidly to warn of danger up ahead.Something isn’t right.
Mark slowly got down onto the mat and positioned himself on top of me and I wrapped my legs around him as he had previously instructed and he leaned in so he was pressing down on top of me as he looked into my eyes. “Now, do you see where I’m positioned?”
He thrust around a little, attempting to show me he couldn’t get out of this spot no matter how hard he tried. I knew my legs, especially my thighs, were strong, but I knew him and didn’t believe for one minute he wouldn’t be able to get out of my grasp. ????
“Now, let’s switch places, so you can see what it’s like on top.” He got up and held out his hand to help me up before trading places with me. “Okay now, you’re going to…”
“I think I’ve got it.” I didn’t mean to snip my words at him, but I didn’t appreciate him talking to me like I was a stupid girlwho needed verbal on top of physical instruction. I didn’t need to be made to feel worse than I already was.
His apology was almost sarcastic. “Sorry.”
I settled between his legs, but the instant they locked around me, a surge of panic hit. His package pulsed against me as I tried to escape his grip. “Now, I’ve got you where I want you.” His voice was a deep, almost inaudible whisper, but it cut through me. The words were a finality. With him, with this. But not with MMA.
“Mark, stop.” I pushed away, kneeing his groin on the way up, only partly by accident.
“I’m done,” I said, my voice steady.
He choked back a cry, his voice catching in his throat. “Val, wait.”
“Fuck off.”
There was no need for an explanation. He knew. He knew what he’d done, and it made him no better than James. I should have trusted my intuition the moment I felt something was wrong. I hurried to the locker room to remove my stuff from my locker, making sure not to accidentally leave anything. I wouldn’t be returning. I would call in a couple of days to cancel my membership. I wouldn’t give them a reason, or maybe I would make up an excuse… just in the off chance I was being delusional.
???
??“Are you crazy? You arenotbeing delusional.” Summer was heated. “I knew I should have knocked him on his ass when I realized the game he was playing with the match. That’s exactly what it was… A game. He deserves to be fired.”
????I pressed my lips together and glanced down at the book I was reading before sliding a bookmark in it and setting it down on the coffee table. I could tell this was going to be one ofthoseconversations with a dash of lecture. “Summer, I don’t want anyone losing their job.”
??“If he did it to you so easily, who’s to say he won’t do the same stunt with someone else?” She was right. I wasn’t the first female, and I wouldn’t be the last, training under Mark unless someone filed a complaint against him.
I groaned. “Fine.” The idea of filing a formal complaint against him had me more nervous than I wanted to admit. I didn’t have proof. This was a similar feeling to the one I had when it came to James, only it was different because there had been proof with James. I touched the tip of my finger to the corner of my eye. Almost reminiscent of the last interaction we had. ????Summer cleared her throat on the other end of the call.
“Val you have got to stop doing this to yourself. Stop letting these little boys get away with everything because you’re worried no one will believe you.”
????It wasn’t easy, but Summer was the last person I wanted to tell I had found out James called everyone he could to convince them I was lying. It seemed he was hoping to get some character witnesses out of the deal. When I had talked with my mom about it, hoping to get a bit of support from her, the only thing she said was:we don’t talk about this kind of thing.